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Thank you Sara and Laura for your posts. I see it has been a week and a half since I posted here . I seem to have been incredibly busy. I managed to write a few posts and then ran out of time. Also I am on a new supplement and I now get tired in the nights rather than being the night owl I have always been surviving on five hours sleep.

Today I am thinking about my meagre savings . There are things I definitely need . I need a new kitchen and I need a new car. Howver I want a holiday- not for me so much but for my son and husband who deserve it .

Now how do I choose?

I am hoping my car will not give up the ghost for another year- then I will buy something smaller and cheaper ( yes my car was big and flashy once – so no big shot mentality there !)

The kitchen is no longer going to be the dream, glossy magazine affair I have been imagining. Or it might be but it will be done in stages. So this year it will be a new fitted kitchen and later I will knock walls and move doors. I have never been in a house with a worse kitchen so this is really a priority.

As usual I am impatient .

On the positive side I have been doing a lot of catching up with friends . It is clear that some friends bring nothing positive to my life and others makes me feel wanted and “at home”. It is a good time to prioritise who I want to spend my time with . I no longer want to waste my time on people who bring me down and are always on their own agenda .

My life is plodding along fine. It is hugely improved by not gambling and even better now that I am no longer tortured by urges all the time. My mind is free to concentrate on other things .

I guess I’m kinda happy !