Just think of it as an investment into a business that didn’t work out and move on. You thought you could make money selling hot-dogs but it backfired. No big deal. Many businessmen failed before they made it.
I’ve been gambling the past few days pretty much all the time. Before that I stop for 2-3 weeks and then slip and get angry for loosing yet again and then I spiral into the abyss of trying to win something, anything. Hence I deposit larger amounts and spin and never win. I play bets 1-3 euro, when I go bezeerk I play 10. I lost 100 k in 4 months doing that.
For me it’s not even a matter of gambling or not, it’s about wheter I want to continue living or not. Honestly I don’t want to anymore, too much trauma and lonliness and bad luck but I’m afraid if I don’t, I’ll have to come back to this world in another form and repeat the same karma over again.