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Day 132 Gamble Free and pretty happy about it. Living gamble free is so much better than gambling. The stress of it is really gone. I obviously am not debt free and that does bug me all the time but It’s not something i can live with. As crazy as it sounds the guilt of letting it happen/doing this to myself has gotten better. I don’t hurt as much or maybe think as much about as I used too although it’s still present and maybe ale ways will be.
Charles, thank you for saying hi and checking in. I find that paying off debt takes a lot of hard work and is just taking a lot longer than I thought it would to pay off. I’m making pretty good money but it’s just never enough it seems to be enough to pay off my debt. I know I’m just being impatient and may have set an unrealistic goal/time frame to pay things back: I was close to 20k in the hole when I quit and now it’s around 9k left maybe a little under so aim making some strides.
I’m hoping by July or August to be back and actually benign able to save money. I also think that will be a major test for me being gamble free. It’s one thing to bring paying back money and another to be in the green. So I’ll be very careful at that point. I definitely would have had a more realistic plan for payback. I have close to 6k in the bank also which I need to make sure I have a place and have some extra emergency funds available so I’m not totally broke either.

Such is life. I’m certainly not perfect. Today will be another gamble free day. I won’t lie though… the urges are always there. When I don’t feel I have enough money or feel bad about something I did many years ago to myself really riggers me for some treason. As long as I remember that when I have the feelings it helps.