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Thank you for your reply Monica – I am running a little late this morning so will reply on your thread later.

Today is day 22- the start of week four .
Today I have had a disappointment – a let down.
I keep thinking. I am not going to let it make me bitter while all the time I am feeling a new hardness growing .
How do continue to smile when u have been s*** upon time and time again?
How do you continue to be upbeat when u feel hurt and let down ?
I guess this is where my assertiveness should Come in and I should explain why I’m upset – however experience has taught me that this is the last thing I should do .
So it’s a grin and bear it day .
It’s a carry my pain quietly day.
But it’s also a non gambling day and for that I am grateful.

Life doesn’t become perfect once we stop gambling .
It sometimes feels like it’s always me but I guess lots of people feel like that.

Not sure how I am going to lift myself today – sometimes I feel the fact that I bounce back and don’t hold grudges let’s people think I am a perpetual doormat .

Week 4- not sure how I am feeling .