[SuperstarDJ]

I’m a problem gambler and have been for 20 years.

I have tried so many times to stop but have failed every time.

Something needs to change.

Today we are buying school things for my little girl who starts this autumn. For some reason I am seeing this as a turning point. I want this day, when we do this, to be the day I remember for being the day I stopped gambling forever.

To achieve this I am going to take small steps.

I have just withdrawn my last balances from my two on line accounts. I need these withdrawals to go through then I will permanently close the accounts on Tuesday 27th. I will draft the closure emails this weekend. I am also going to write on here every day to reaffirm what I am doing and that I am no longer gambling.

I really want this time to be different. I am the only person who can make this change. There are so many good things in my life and one evil thing that I need to banish forever.

DJ

[Steev]

That might sound like odd advice – but when I am asked to “try and pick up that pencil” and I pick the pencil up – the person could then say “no no I told you to TRY and pick it up.

” So I am going to say to you, don’t try to stop – STOP. Give stopping that sort of committment. You say, “I have tried so many times to stop but have failed every time.” So what will you do differently this time? I realised after stopping and starting so many times – that trying to quit wasn’t working for me. I had to go for a different tack. I acted into the life of a non-gambler. I changed where I went, who I had contact with, what I did on a day to day basis. It was hard not to slip back into my old ways but with support (first GA and then other support groups and counselling) I did this.

Now I live a gambling free life – not even a raffle ticket. Live the new life that you need for both yourself and your family. I wish you well.

[SuperstarDJ]

Thank you for taking the time to reply. That is valuable advice. I will take it onboard (not try to!).

[dunc]

Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[kin]

You show me this is possible. I have tried for 14 years and 53 years old this year, I will keep on trying till the day I die.

[i-did-it]

Hi superstar
My understanding is hat you can close your accounts straight away and your balance will be returned to you.
So often in the past I had the same idea about stopping but got sucked in by the dreaded “reverse withdrawal “ and ended up with nothing .

I think your little girl starting school is an excellent reason to stop. It will ensure she isn’t the little girl with the tatty home and the shabby uniform !
Well done – keep writing .

[SuperstarDJ]

Thank you for your helpful words. Today was a good day, focusing on my family. Only had a few thoughts about gambling this evening. Stayed busy and didn’t act on them. Yes one of the two accounts has reverse withdrawal but there is nothing I can reverse on that one now – so by Tuesday I can close and self exclude. I won’t bet before then as I no longer gamble and I can see this forum will be a big source of support for me.

[SuperstarDJ]

Nice to wake up without having had an American sports bet running overnight, disturbing my sleep. Feel good right now. Family time today and it will be a good day as I don’t gamble any more.

[i-did-it]

Well done Superstar
Life is so much better when we don’t gamble.
Stay strong

[SuperstarDJ]

There have been lots of day 3s over the years. Thought about gambling on the cricket last night but kept busy with puzzles. Staying busy is a key thing for me. Another family day today and I must write the two account closure emails to send on Tuesday. Mantra for the day “I don’t gamble any more”

[SuperstarDJ]

I go through waves of feeling good and I can do this, followed by waves of “I might just look at the odds on the football today”. They flip back and forth. Does anyone else have this? Any good coping strategies?

[Steev]

Yes – I remember those waves, when my identity as a non-gambler was not yet secure and I hovered towards doing the things that gamblers do.  (Not just actual gambling but things like calculating odds and scheming where to get money from for my next session.)

My answer was to remember that I am a person that no longer gambles and then to think about what that person would be doing instead.  I can’t answer the specifics for you – but what were the things you had to drop before gambling, what are things that your family have suggested you do that you have been putting off, what new things have you always wanted to do but never had the time for.

I would also try and contradict my pattern of gambling – which was slots.  So instead of holing myself up in a room with no windows, I would get outdoors and get some fresh air. 

Part of this is to put new connections in our brains so that when we feel we need a change we don’t think gambling, but rather think cycling or whatever it is for you. 

The good news is that these waves will lessen as time goes on – although like waves they can unexpectedly get stronger when you least expect it!  I am sure you can cope with them.  Keep well.

[SuperstarDJ]

I’m on day 4. First time I haven’t had a bet over a weekend for goodness knows how many years. Feel good this morning. No real urges yesterday. I am a non-gambler now. Need to stay busy and watch my triggers (stress generally)

[SuperstarDJ]

Really good day yesterday. Relatively few urges. Withdrew latest and final loyalty bonus (ha ha) from on line account so that can definitely be closed tomorrow. Must send the closure email for the other one today. No excuses. I don’t need it anymore.

[SuperstarDJ]

Very pleased with myself for closing my main on line account yesterday. I used to use it every day. I actually closed it. It’s a really important barrier for me as on line betting is what I used to do. Bookies and casinos weren’t my thing. That leaves just one account where the last withdrawal of loyalty bonus will land in my account tomorrow, and that can be closed on Thursday too. Only urge yesterday was that I looked up the odds on a tennis match but I didn’t do anything about it. There have not been many day 6s over the years. But this time is different.

[SuperstarDJ]

Bit of a challenging day yesterday but I did not relapse. Had time between meetings at work so went into bookies. If I hadn’t closed my exchange account I would have probably layed the favourite in the 4.40 race – it lost, so I would have won. But I didn’t bet. I left the bookies after 10 minutes without betting. I must stop looking at odds or going into the bookies so that is my new commitment from today. Also I have just closed my final on line account so that’s it – for the first time in many years (11 I think), I have no account to bet with. Because I don’t need it any more.

[amg077]

It s great that you dont have account to bet with.

Keep working to continue clean!

[SuperstarDJ]

I’ve done a whole week. That hasn’t happened for a very long time. Baby steps to a gambling free life. Strangely I find that the longer I abstain, the more determined I am to not go back to day 1. I will always be honest in this forum. Yesterday I sat in the bookies for around 40 mins and I could well have gambled had my accounts not been closed – shows what a good barrier that is. So my personal commitment for week 2 is to not set foot in a bookie again, as there is no point, as I don’t gamble.

[i-did-it]

Well done Superstar .
Keep strong .

[SuperstarDJ]

Very good day yesterday. No urges at all. No silly sitting in the bookies for no reason whatsoever. Family day today as it is the weekend. Feeling really positive. But not counting any chickens either. All I know is that I really really really never want another Day 1. The highs from gambling are nothing compared to the awful feelings of regret and letting everyone down when I used to bet.

[Rdy4Chng]

This thread and your story are really speaking to me. I have a problem too. I am just coming to terms with it and I need to be a part of this group. I have been trying to not go to the casino and keeping track for the last month. Out of 31 days, I’ve gone 10 times. Every time losing WAY too much money and every time telling myself this was the last time.
I can really see your struggle. The longest period of time in that 30 days was 5 days. I felt so good about it too. Then on day 6, just like I was on auto-pilot – I went to the casino… Basically talking myself out of it the whole way there but still, I went in. Why are we like this? Why is it so hard to stop?

I am ready for change. There is no other way. We have to be accountable for our actions and we have to do what we say we are going to do.

Stay strong and just know your story is helping someone else. Once I get a bit more courage, I will do my own journal entry.
Thank you

[SuperstarDJ]

Thanks for your message. It is great to know someone is reading my entries and that they are helping. If I can do this you can too. Looking forward to reading your journal when you are ready. 

[SuperstarDJ]

Big family birthday today so have been completely focused on that. No urges to speak of. Staying busy is SO important for me. It is when I am bored, trying to avoid stress or avoiding confrontation that I gamble. Nothing like that today. Must not go into a bookies, and as I have no on line accounts anywhere my barriers are strong. Going to do this. This time will be different.

[Rdy4Chng]

Enjoy your day! 🙂

[SuperstarDJ]

Will be very busy at work today which is GOOD. I’m starting the week feeling really positive. Also remembering that I have failed at this on multiple occasions over the past 20 years so I am not letting my guard drop. I need to remember that it feels SO good NOT to gamble. It isn’t the other way around. I am such a better person when not being secretive / up and down through this awful addiction.

[SuperstarDJ]

Keeping busy. No going into bookies. Did put horse racing channel on TV yesterday and convinced myself that a favourite would be beaten, which it was of course, but I didn’t bet. I will not let my brain trick me into thinking that I can make money from gambling. I am a useless gambler, I lost so much money when I was gambling, and all it does is destroy my life. So no more. Never again!

[Steev]

I make no apologies for re-sending the start of my last comment on your thread which was: “Yes – I remember those waves, when my identity as a non-gambler was not yet secure and I hovered towards doing the things that gamblers do. (Not just actual gambling but things like calculating odds and scheming where to get money from for my next session.)”

It is not just about stopping gambling – it is about STAYING stopped – and to do that you have to HAVE TO take on the persona of a non-gambler.

A non-gambler does not watch the racing, never mind deciding on whether a particular horse is going to win or lose. A non-gambler is going to find something else to watch on TV or do something else altogether.

Sorry to sound quite harsh – but I can see a relapse coming up if you don’t change tack quite soon and I would rather be harsh than be right. I wish you well.

[SuperstarDJ]

Hearing your point loud and clear. Thank you for your comments. They are very helpful. Non gamblers don’t go into the bookies ever – I haven’t been in since Thursday last week. They also don’t watch Sky Racing, I agree. So that’s another thing to stop immediately (haven’t watched anything today). I’m going to think about what else gamblers do that non gamblers don’t. 

[SuperstarDJ]

Very busy with work again today, flying abroad. No time to gamble or think about gambling. Feeling good about almost reaching two weeks. Longest clean stretch for about 10 years. Feeling positive. It’s so good not having disturbed sleep due to having an American sports bet running overnight.

[SuperstarDJ]

Been thinking a lot about the advice about becoming a non gambler. It’s valuable. Yesterday I found myself thinking about the racing results and I opened my usual app. However non gamblers don’t even look at results so I stopped myself and closed the app. I have just deleted it off my phone. Non gamblers don’t go into bookies (last time was day 7), they don’t watch racing (last time was day 11), they don’t look at odds (not for a few days) etc. Picked up daughter’s school uniform today and was proud of myself for sticking to what I started two weeks ago. But not complacent.

[jen3]

Yeah Day 14!! I just read your thread. A longtime gambler like myself. I like the advice of “thinking like a non-gambler”. We need to crush any thoughts that have to do with gambling because we do not gamble anymore… keep going strong.

[SuperstarDJ]

I like the thought of “crushing” thoughts like that. I think that’s what I did by not even looking at the racing results yesterday. And crushed further by deleting the app. 

[Rdy4Chng]

Congrats on 14 days! Huge acheivement. Keep going!

[SuperstarDJ]

Thank you for the message. I keep thinking about your comment “we have to do what we say we are going to do“ – it’s a good mantra. I have said I will stop going into the bookies and I have stuck to that for a whole week now. No point going in there as I don’t gamble. Hope you are having success in your journey.

[SuperstarDJ]

Feeling a little bit low this morning for no particular reason. I am doing well. I am not looking at odds or thinking about what I could bet on. Yesterday I had a couple of urges in the afternoon and evening but stopped them by doing something else – work, made a cup of tea, hoovered, that sort of thing. Maybe deliberately choosing something else to do at the point the urge is triggered, rather than waiting for it to pass, is a good strategy.

[SuperstarDJ]

Very stressful day yesterday. Until recently that would have ended up with me in the bookies but not now. Had a few urges but crushed them by doing some hard work. Family time at the weekend today, I’d rather cook my wife a nice meal and play with my kids than gamble. Off to take my daughter to swimming soon.

[SuperstarDJ]

HORRIBLE dream last night. Dreamt I had a ton of money on an American golf match bet. I hadn’t looked at odds or anything. It was so vivid and so real. Thank goodness it wasn’t. I don’t remember dreams like that at all when I have not gambled in the past. It was almost like a panic attack when I woke up. If it happens again I need to get up and reset completely before trying to go back to sleep.

[Rdy4Chng]

It is a good mantra! I should take my own advice haha!
I am on day 9. Strong urges and lots of thinking about going to gamble or money I have lost but I am staying strong and not gambling. 

I am focusing on making my life better and keeping myself busy with more rewarding and fulfilling activites as I see you are too. 

Well done. My thread is “finally ready to be honest” if you want to read my story.

[SuperstarDJ]

Day off work today with my family. Lovely time. Pleased with myself for not gambling on the American football last night. I loved doing that so the start of the season was a big test – I can honestly say I did not look at the odds at all. And even if I did I have no account to bet with. Keeping this diary going, and my barriers strong is key to long term success. I keep telling myself day 18 is easy though, as I have got this far about 5 times before. So no complacency.

[SuperstarDJ]

I said I would always be honest. I need to work on crushing thoughts of gambling, not just gambling. Looked at the racing results yesterday on line – for about a minute – before stopping myself. Didn’t gamble but the thought of looking up odds and winners is not what gamblers do. So that’s my thing to work on for the rest of the week.

[SuperstarDJ]

Couple of issues today. First thing this morning I was having breakfast and watched a single Australian horse race. Turned it off and didn’t bet but again I need to stop putting it on in the first place. Going to listen to radio tomorrow morning and leave the TV off! Secondly this afternoon I could feel my mind wandering and thinking how nice it would be to have a bet on the horses. Didn’t come close to acting on it, but shows I have a long way to go to crush thoughts as discussed above.

[Rdy4Chng]

I totally understand this. I am on day 12 and doing pretty well but I cannot stop thinking about going to the casino. I loved playing the games and I do miss it. I downloaded a slot game which is NO money and have played that a few times in the past 2 days. Probably not a good thing to do. I should probably delete it. 

Ugh. 

[SuperstarDJ]

Hi – yes I strongly advise you delete it. I have no gambling apps or racing results on my phone now. It’s an important barrier. Earlier advice said think about doing something else completely – so next time this happens to me I am going to exercise / read / watch a film / cook something / do something nice with my family / do a puzzle. Well done on day 12 – keep going! 

[SuperstarDJ]

Great day today. Daughter started school and I am proud that I have kept my promise from three weeks ago. And today – no gambling, no sitting in the bookies, no watching racing, no looking up odds. No real urges either. A good day all round.

[SuperstarDJ]

Annoyed with myself as after a stressful meeting today I went into the bookies. Did not come close to gambling but I just sat in there, almost to hide. I need to go to a coffee shop or just have a walk instead. First time I have been in for 2 weeks. Trying to stay positive and not be too hard on myself as I have now not gambled for 22 days.

[Rdy4Chng]

It’s funny because I did literallly the same thing today!
I have been having really strong urges to gamble, *only a little bit this time* haha yeah right. Today I really thought about going. Going to see IF I could control myself. Just to have a little fun. I’m not stressed but moreso just bored. 

I did some other things and then ended up driving past the casino. I couldn’t help but pull in. But all I did was sit in my car for 20-30 mins and think about what was going on inside. How many people were losing money, how many familiar faces there would be in there (not a good thing), how loud and kinda gross it is, etc. Then after a while, the urges passed and I turned around and came home. 

Not the best thing to do I am sure but the fact that I did not go in and you did not bet are HUGE! Sure, non-gamblers wouldn’t do that sort of stuff but maybe we aren’t fully there yet. I am still someone who “likes” to gamble and as much as I want to be a non-gambler, I don’t think I am there yet. Not gambling today and overcoming my urges made me feel pretty good about getting there one day though. 

Good for you for not betting. It shows you have restraint and are on your way to becoming a non-gambler. =)

[Steev]

That was an interesting trigger you came up with – in effect, after a stressful meeting I went to the bookies, I needed to hide.  Hide from what, I wonder?  I feel like I know what you mean though – it’s almost like when an animal has gone through some bruising encounter and then goes somewhere quiet to lick its wounds.

Great that you didn’t place a bet.  I have been in pubs where there have been slots and have had to move out of the eyeline of them because I knew if I looked I would be hooked.  And it’s not even the playing, the mind games start well before that.  The “devil side” saying, “it’ll be alright, no-one will know, just a few pounds, you can afford that.”  The “angel side” saying , “why risk your days gf, you know it won’t stop at a few pounds, before you know it you’ll be down at the cash machine.”    As soon as I hear that dialogue begin to play in my head I know I am in trouble.

So finding somewhere new to hide?  Is that why gardener’s have sheds?  Anglers go to fishing tackle shops?  I now go for walks – I feel I can breathe in woodlands – let all the stress go. 

So for you, something to look at – fInding a new hiding place!  YOUR (non gambling) hiding place. Thanks for the post.

[SuperstarDJ]

A lovely family day in store today. No time for mind wandering or thinking about gambling. Three weeks ago I couldn’t have done a weekend day without gambling, let alone three whole weekends without gambling, so I am feeling positive about that.

[SuperstarDJ]

Yes stress is a classic trigger and I run away from confrontation. I think going to a coffee shop and pending £2.50 on a latte is going to be my coping mechanism 

[Rdy4Chng]

Way to go! 

[SuperstarDJ]

Another successful day. I’m finding it easier to not think about gambling at all when I am with my family, rather than when I am at work. I actually LIKE not gambling. I get so much done. Need to remember this post next time the urges come. I like not going back to day 1 all the time!

[SuperstarDJ]

Horrible day at work. Noticed today that I don’t yet feel like a non gambler, I feel like a gambler who isn’t gambling right now. I guess you can’t feel like the latter without the former!

[SuperstarDJ]

Today’s realisation is that it is really nice not constantly thinking about when the racing starts or when the dogs begins today. So much wasted time over years and years looking up odds and trying to win when the only outcome is always losing. Makes me feel positive. Next milestone is a month which I have only ever managed three times I think? Feels good. I want this time to be different

[SuperstarDJ]

Got paid today. Moved money into joint account. None available for gambling even if I wanted too. Paid off some debt. Feels good. Wouldn’t have even imagined I could be gf for this long 27 days ago. No real urges to speak of today!

[Steev]

The old adage – no money, no time, no gamble is working for you. I think in the early days especially I had to have my barriers in place. I was caught off-guard a few times but the need to go somewhere or do something to get the ammunition to play with was enough for wiser thoughts to get through and for me to remember that I am not a gambler anymore. And neither are you!

[SuperstarDJ]

A very good day today. No urges and spending my time doing USEFUL things not USELESS things like gambling. As time passes I am more determined not to go back to day 1. In my head if I did that all of the past four weeks would be worth a lot less.

[SuperstarDJ]

Your comments are much appreciated. I do feel different. I love not having the constant thought of gambling running through my mind. I feel like I am beating this. 

[i-did-it]

Well done superstar DJ!
Super progress .

[SuperstarDJ]

Got paid a little bonus this morning. Immediately transferred it to pay off my credit card. That’s another card completely clear. That feels great. The thought of gambling again and having more debt actually makes me feel ill – which is a good thing.

[SuperstarDJ]

Day with my family and in general all fine. However about three times today I found myself really fancying a bet. Didn’t come close to doing so – as I have no accounts nor a source of cash at my sole discretion. The urges don’t last for that long, maybe a few minutes, and my solution is to simply do something else. When I get the urges I must say to myself that in about 5 minutes they will have passed.

[SuperstarDJ]

It’s a full month. Very pleased with myself. I am going to treat every month like I am starting again. When I failed before there was the voice saying “you have done it for a few weeks, it’s ok to have a bet”. It really isn’t!

[Steev]

I like the idea of starting as if day 32 is day 1. You now know you can go 1 month without gambling. All you have to do now is keep repeating that. (I know easier said than done.) But I know it is great to have a month under your belt.

[SuperstarDJ]

Pretty tired today. No real urges. Thinking how nice it is not to be thinking about overnight bets. It would be the easy option to have a bet. But I’m not going to. All it leads to is losing more and more.

[SuperstarDJ]

Tough day at work today. But didn’t succumb to temptation. I am taking great strength from writing my updates. I have to keep going with this. There is only one thing that happens when you gamble – you LOSE. No ifs or buts.

[Relapseking]

You have done so well mate. You are over a month gamble free, that is where a lot of us are trying to get to now. I am on day 4. Stay busy, and keep doing what youre doing not being able to access money. I cannot wait till i have a month gamble free under my belt so dont give that up. It sucks starting back at day 1. Keep counting those days and keep adding on, im telling you now that you will feel like shit if you have to start again. Im determined to get to over a month this time and then another month from there and so on..

You arent missing out on anything man, everyone else is still losing everything gambling. Theres no winning in gambling, just instant losses and delayed losses. Be proud of your progress, i cannot wait to join you in being months free of the evil!

[SuperstarDJ]

Just logged off for the day for work, we are so busy. Normally I would complain but it is really helping as I have barely had any time to think about anything that isn’t work! Off to bed now, need to look after my sleep and myself while I am in these early stages.

[SuperstarDJ]

day 1 absolutely sucks. I NEVER want another day 1. There have been so many. You can do this too. Stay strong and positive! 

[SuperstarDJ]

Absolutely shattered. Crazy busy at work. Which helps!!!

[SuperstarDJ]

Realised that my urges are definitely diminishing as time is passing. That is one of the things I am most pleased with. I literally haven’t had time to think about gambling after an epic week at work and now it is the weekend I am just exhausted. Anyone else feel extremely tired after stopping gambling?

[SuperstarDJ]

One of the things that is massively working for me is just throwing myself into family life at the weekend. Did breakfast, took my daughter swimming, made tea, cooked dinner for my wife and cleared up personal emails late into the evening. No time for urges or thinking about gambling. No wasting time looking at the odds or going into the bookies.

[SuperstarDJ]

Had some good advice on here a few weeks ago about reinvigorating hobbies you used to have before gambling took a grip. Today I bought three albums that I have wanted to for ages but of course prior to 38 days ago money wasn’t for buying music, it was for gambling. I’m really looking forward to listening to them on my commute this week.

[SuperstarDJ]

Had some quite strong urges today. I have to remind myself that this is still very early days. I should expect these urges. I know how to cope with them. They pass after a few minutes.

[SuperstarDJ]

Massive ups and downs today. Feel quite down and can’t really explain why.

[Steev]

It’s normal for us non-gamblers as well. Remember that the downs will pass. Cheer yourself up with whatever non-gambling ways work for you. Congrats on your 40 days!

[SuperstarDJ]

Had a horrible migraine yesterday. Knocked me out. Still couldn’t think straight at all let alone think about gambling so that’s one good thing I guess!!!

[SuperstarDJ]

I can’t believe it has now been six weeks. Pretty rough time with work, feeling down and also the migraine yesterday but I have remained strong. It would be easy to have a bet. But I haven’t. And I should draw strength from that.

[SuperstarDJ]

Felt better today. Shows that the low points pass. The low points are, I think, my gambling conditioned brain telling me that a bet would make me feel better. However I now have a 43-day old non gambling brain, which is speaking louder!

[SuperstarDJ]

Brilliant day with my family. Busy all day long and no time or opportunity to think about gambling. Did some cooking which I love. Far more productive than what I would have been doing 44 days ago.

[Badsportsbettor]

I am finding it very encouraging reading your posts. I am going through the same struggles and it’s nice to see other people having the same real life problems that no one else understands. Keep it up!

[SuperstarDJ]

Had some quite strong urges today. Really felt like having a bet. But I remembered that it soon passes, which it did, and I distracted myself by doing such exciting tasks as putting the bin out or cleaning the floor.

[SuperstarDJ]

It really helps to know others have similar issues. Hope things are going well for you 

[SuperstarDJ]

Very tiring day. Found myself wanting to hide in a betting shop. Even stood outside one. Managed to resist going in and had a coffee instead. Been a long time since I have been in one now.

[SuperstarDJ]

Put some money aside for savings today. Although I am still paying down debt it is good in my head to be saving a bit as well. 47 days ago any spare cash was only for gambling.

[Steev]

So make sure that any money you save goes into an account where you can’t get instant access. I only say this because of your previous post where you stood outside a betting shop. I might be being too anxious, but I know that relapsing happens well before the bet is placed – and thinking about going into premises and having the “spare” cash to bet with are red flags. Keep thinking like a non-gambler and keep your money safe! Keep strong.

[SuperstarDJ]

A good day. I am spending a bit more on coffee as when I want to hide from work I go to a shop now and not a betting shop. But I think that is much better – just need to stay off the caffeine. Really looking forward to another payday next week when I literally haven’t wasted a penny on gambling.

[SuperstarDJ]

That Is great advice. It is in instant access. I can easily move to a notice account which I am going to do now. 

[SuperstarDJ]

Really chuffed to be at the 7 week point. But reminding myself that this is still just the start. I did almost a year without gambling before. I am still working on taking on the persona of a non gambler, and it is a persona I much prefer to the old me.

[SuperstarDJ]

A great milestone but as of today I am going through my mantra – day 50 is easy compared to day 100 day 1000 and so on. In the past I have thought “I’m ok now” and can have a small bet BUT all that leads to is huge losses and misery. Never going back to day 1.

[SuperstarDJ]

Family day today. Leaving phone firmly in my pocket and no need at all to think about sports odds or gambling. Simple.

[SuperstarDJ]

Been crazy busy at work due to a crisis there – actually helps my recovery as I don’t have time to do anything except work. Today is a big day as the crisis should finish at 1ish.

[SuperstarDJ]

Crisis over at work and I can’t deny that my brain was telling me that a bet would be a suitable reward. I don’t think that has dulled that much since day 1 which is a little disappointing.

[vera]

The CG brain thrives on chaos.
Be careful!

[SuperstarDJ]

I can feel my resolve weakening. I can’t really explain why. I think it is the old “you have proven you won’t gamble for ages now, so you are fine to resume” argument. I know it wouldn’t be fine. I have to keep telling myself the only outcome is LOSING and MISERY.

[Emma8]

Go and read my journal entry. I’m on day 1 once more and it feels rotten. Learn from my relapse. Don’t do it. Just stay away. The short time joy is absolutely not worth it in any way! You’re doing so well. Keep going!

[SuperstarDJ]

i know that feeling so well. I am sorry it happened to you but well done on the progress you have made. I agree you have to focus on the positives. The only way forward that doesn’t lead to misery is to be gamble free. You can do this. Make sure you have really strong barriers

[Steev]

Read my response to Emma’s journal entry also!

In it I have said that one of the lessons I learnt from my many relapses is that I cannot gamble “normally” again.  What it means for me is that any gamble I make is going to take me down the same path towards loss of money, dignity and hope. 

So look at what the urges might be trying to tell you. Remember that you are now a non-gambler and to keep strong. Keep posting.

[SuperstarDJ]

I just read your other entry and it is really insightful. Keeping posting is so important. I am going to write more not less. I don’t want to gamble ever again. In a way I wish I could bottle the day 1 feeling so I could always remember how abhorrent it is. 

[SuperstarDJ]

Had a good day today. I so enjoy my life when I don’t gamble. I was walking between offices at work today and not having that constant thought of odds and betting makes me experience and feel the air, the trees, the warmth of the sun, the daylight. I think about things I can do with my family at the weekend rather than what horse race is on or what football match I can “win” money on. It reminds me why I have STOPPED.

[SuperstarDJ]

Had another positive day. Feeling much better after my resolve wobble midweek. Got paid today and did my usual move money into joint account, pay a bit off credit card, make sure I minimise access to free funds. Had a nice meal at home and worked out plan for Saturday.

[SuperstarDJ]

A lovely day today. Did some gardening and watched some football. All spent with my family. When I am with them I feel strong and confident about my new life.

[Steev]

Good that you are feeling supported by your family and I am sure that they are enjoying having you around too. Keep posting and keep strong.

[SuperstarDJ]

Found my mind wandering at work to thoughts of gambling today. If I’m honest these thoughts are still coming quite a lot, not much different to day 1. I wonder if/when they start to fade? I wish I didn’t have them. I’d love to hardwire them out of me forever.

[SuperstarDJ]

I’m travelling with work so it is good to keep my mind occupied. I am feeling good about being a non-gambler. It is much better to fill my mind with productive thoughts rather than destructive ones. I have started to develop an aversion to even being near betting shops – I don’t want to look at them or see them, let alone walk in.

[SuperstarDJ]

Back home. On my own tomorrow so no letting my guard drop. It is as important to stay busy, focused and watchful for triggers as it was on Day 1.

[SuperstarDJ]

A wet and windy day where I live. Stayed in all day on my own working. Kept really busy. No silly watching racing or looking at odds on my phone. Would like to get to the point where I can do this without thinking every hour or so that I must not, if you see what I mean.

[SuperstarDJ]

I upgraded my phone the day after my last post and since then I haven’t been able to log in to the site – I wonder if it is just me that had this problem? Anyway I now have a non work-issued laptop at home so it is safe / private for me to log in. I have been keeping my barriers in place although today I have been having pretty strong urges – I think again being driven by stress of work and that old feeling of “115 days, I’ve got this licked now…I can have a bet can’t I?”. The answer is of course no. I’m going to keep posting now I have my laptop as I can’t / mustn’t slip back after all this time.

[i-did-it]

Hi superstar
Congratulations on your gamble free time and even more so on your gamble free life.
I hope you are looking forward to the best Christmas, knowing that your hard work and effort has made it so.
Keep posting.

[Seanraj4731]

Keep it up. Keep on keeping on you are gonna have an awesome xmas and a blessed season. Thank you for posting. Continue to be encourage. Self worth is gonna be the number factor of kicking this habit. Yes the temptation are there even people whom you associated with may influence you for example i met someone who said she was gambling over 15 yrs now and the biggest she won was $45k. But her loses was way past that it was estimated close to 1.5mil. Mortagagtes loan payments and the mounted of debts built up. Ppl lose their life over gambling. So our minds are to be rewire to refocus on a positve life

[SuperstarDJ]

Messages like yours mean a lot. I hope you are doing well! 

[SuperstarDJ]

You are right. I have a long way to go to pay off my gambling debts – but it is possible if I keep treating every day as if it is my first. If I bet again I will just lose and be miserable. 

[SuperstarDJ]

Feeling proud of myself but also low for some reason. Low about all of the money I have wasted over the years. I have let everyone down and myself. The only coping mechanism I have is to say that I will not let anyone down again. The past is in the past.

[Autor]

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