So I’m back. Very suicidal right now. I sold my apartment and gambled the money away.
Before gambling away my money, I paid off my credit card debts and two large bank loans.
I’m now left with 15 k cash, 20 k debt, a side hustle that earns me some money, severe depression and no job. No immediate family nor partner.
Last night my body gave out on me. I vomited the entire night and woke up in cold sweat fearing what I would do with the remainder of the money I have. I immediately banned myself from the casino, giving up on chasing my huge loss of almost 100k. There is really no way for me to win any of that money back because I continuosly win nothing. Bonus rounds would give me 120 euro max on 3 euro bets, day in , day out.
I find comfort in thoughts of suicide as I have no idea how I’m going to recover from this.
My whole existance and purpose for being brought to this world is meaningless. Perhaps only to serve as an example to others as what not to do, or to make casinos rich.
My plan is to give myself 3 weeks and try to emotionally recover from this, there is no way I’m in the right state of mind to be able to find a job. The trauma is too severe.
- Acest răspuns a fost modificat acum O lună, 3 săptămâni de către Callmecrazy.