Gambling Therapy logo

Hi Charlster

I feel the same as you, as if my head is exploding. Unlike you I am in the position of everything crumbling around me as I ‘get better’. I keep wanting to try and cancel the closing of the company, keep the office etc. But if I do I simply won’t get better. I have to let this go, and your decision has given me heart. If I do not get help for my addiction, if all I do is simply abstain from gambling, I will return to it. if I address what made me become a CG (access, time, money, hiding from my emotions and feelings etc etc) then i can avoid the next bet and become a better person.

By getting treatment you can address those issues and in 3-6 months you will be stronger to deal with life. Abstaining is not recovery. Abstaining is simply not gambling, but also not dealing with the underlying issues. You lapsed because you convinced yourself this time would be diferent — it would be fun, just a small bet whatever was in your head. But that sent you on a small spiral which you managed to stop. This was the same as my slip 22 days ago. I learned so much from that.

You are such a smart guy, so self aware and yet you are really fragile like me. If you are only 52 that gives you another 15 years of working — and if you are good at what you do then no matter what your age it will be noticed.

I am so glad you have stayed on the site and stayed with us. Please use the helpline, speak with Harry and the others, come to the groups, find a GA. Please put blockers on your computer. K9 is free. Jansdad has a way of setting a password and then chucking it away. Block ALL access to online sites. I made a huge step forward yesterday. I was carrying my wife and my computers home but I was off to GA. I asked her if her computer was protected. She said yes. We checked and it wasn’t. IN the back of my mind I suspected this but didn’t want to be faced with temptation to use her computer. She we protected it and then gave it to her. If I hadn’t have done that I am sure I would have had a look and when I found out I could gamble I probably would have and then would not have gone to GA. WHo knows how much I could have won. Because even if I won a few bets I would soon lose it.

My big problem has been online poker which as well as taking your money slowly, also takes your time. I am done with this. I simply cannot put myself through this any longer.

Please Charlster for your sake get blockers on your laptop and computers so you cannot even access online gambling sites. Protect yourself. Ask you daughter to hold the password maybe.

I am rooting for you mate, really. I am sure you learned something from this slip, we all do.

Take care