Trust is hard to gain back. When we have hurt those we love with our gambling, it makes them so distrustful of us. Your journal reminds me of a friendnof mine who had an affair. Her and her husband separated, they went to counseling. She was faithful again and things were going better. They reconciled and some years went by. She complained that her husband still would ask her probing questions, look through her phone and so on. I felt for her. She was faithful, but she had really hurt him. Try to be patient with your family. They need time to see the changes you are making.
I think Gambling for us is an escape. It certainly doesn’t help our situations. You have lots of tools from your treatment. Go back and start again! You are worth it and your family will come around when they see the tools put to action.
One day, one hour if need be, at a time.
Don’t give up.
