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#148269
ujju197
Deltagare

Really useful words, that ”start staying away right away, because the sooner the better”. But I have identified this road to be recovery really bumpy and difficult. I am gambling addict from last 2 years only, and this is my 3rd attempt to be normal. In first attempt I just ruined 10k, second time I ruined 15K, and this time I ruined 50K in addition to the relations/friends/family I lost or about to loose. In all 3 instance, I stopped playing when I run out of money and options to get money from somewhere.

Right now, I am clean for 30 days and paid back 2k this month, which means if I go with this pace it will take me 24 months to be debt free (in addition, I am trying to not take help from anyone this time; so I can feel how bad this addiction is).

I lost trust of my family/Friends/Relatives who helped me during last instance, about to loose my wife and 2 years old daughter. I as a gambler is so helpless, that last time I pledge for my daughter that I will not do anything like this, but this shitty addiction ruined everything again.

I feel so helpless in last 2 years that, I visit online casino, and played only one game on a specific table; I never tried any other game or table. At age of 34 doing this mistake, make me feel cry whenever I am alone at home or anywhere else.

People at GA used to say, that we have to surrender first and we don’t need to try anything fancy or out of box to fix the consequences we are facing because of this addiction. But controlling is the difficult part. I haven’t share with anyone but last 3 days I am feeling finishing myself, but think of my daughter that may be one day I will be normal and can give her future she deserve.