Hi Brenda
yes it is embarrassing and because of that I kept it hidden till now, but I think it is a good step to add an external factor to the equation.
Hi losingitslowly,
well, agree with what you said, it is true, but I think letting them know, and giving them the financial control at least partially, will be a safety net that will prevent me from ruining everything more, or ruining it again after rebuilding.
I really don’t mind if I lose 100$ or 1000$ once every few months in a relapse, but what really breaks me is this downward spiral that will leave me penniless each time I relapse. maybe I will not be able to be completely free of gambling for the rest of my life, but I need to deal with it I need to LIVE. I need to have savings as back up I need to progress financially and in every aspect of my life. really losing a 100$ will not put me back. but if everything on my control I am damn sure I will lose everything I had once I relapse, I have done it many times.
today is Day#3, still, I didn’t inform my family I am thinking of a way to do it gradually, today I started gradually with one of my friends I gave him minor information about me having an addiction issue, but without any elaboration about how deeply it impacted me.
anyhow, I will search for an online meeting because I really need one or multiple to be included as a routine every week.