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I see a therapist once a month. I love her. I can’t afford more sessions right now. That I am able to write all this is in fact the progress we’ve made. That I have surrendered to the abusive situation that I can not change is also progress. It took me a long time to accept that I have every right to be angry. But it is what it is, I can’t change it. I ’ve surrendered my fight, everything but the strive to be a better person intellectualy therefore I still study French. It’ s part of who I am.