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i won a new life

I needed money to survive
ngot a pay day loan-
nLost the money gambling.
nI needed money to survive
nsold anything I had of value-
nLost the money gambling.
nCourt, fraud, bannkrupt. Why-
nLost the money gambling.
nI had all the money I needed to survive but I
nLost the money gambling.
nI don’t like gambling I am fine without it.
nI don’t understand why I do this to myself
nit makes me feel pathetic and worthless
njust a degenerate gambler with nothing left to lose.
nI have been here before when things were not so bad
nI was in the beginning stages of what I now know is called patholigcal gambling it is an illness a progressive illness that has progressed to my new rock bottom.
nI lost my last $70 yesterday I feel depressed and anxious and today I did not gamble.
nOne day at a time I am going to escape the fog.