[alliesmum]

There has to be more to life than gambling. .

Here’s my story..

My name is Rionagh and I am a CG – I have been on here before but due to my lack of willpower I am back.

I am a 25 year old mother to 3 beautiful children and wife to a wonderful and understanding man. I love my slots and it’s ruining my life! 

I started  gambling about 7 years about but in the last 3 years it has gotten out of control and I am loosing thousands. I can’t and don’t want to do this anymore. I need to focus on my family and myself. I can’t remember a life without gambling. I have now gotten to the point where I know that if I do not stop gambling I will end up in a box – obviously that is not what I want but that is the way gambling is making me feel.

I need help that much I do know and I am hoping you guys will support me and help me get back on to that road to recovery.

Life with gambling is no life at all. It’s a prison sentence.

This is my cry for help.

[i-did-it]

Hi Alliesmum
Is it online gambling that is the issue?
If you buy a blocker for all your interment devices then you cannot gamble no matter how much you want to .
I have betfilter on mine – I used to think it was too expensive (24.99 for three months )- now I realise I can’t afford not to pay for it.

I am no less addicted than you – I have spent hours at the start trying to get around my blocker- I tried the free ones like netnanny but they were easy to bypass.- after a few weeks I give up spending hours trying to uninstall it or get around it .

It has given me such freedom.

I also had no debit or credit cards for the first month or so .i know you have tried this .

Alliesmum , very few of us have the willpower to stop- we need barriers to stop us.

You are only 25- you can have a great life – just think of all that money going on a foreign holiday instead of to the Casino.

You can stop – I found it really hard to but I did – please take the steps today to make it impossible to gamble .
We are all here to support you .

[i-did-it]

Sorry about typos – won’t let me edit

[alliesmum]

Thanks for the reply IDI
Yes online gambling, it’s always been my downfall. As I am writing this reply I am in the process of sorting an internet filter.. As of this morning my cards have been cancelled and financial responsibility is being handed back to hubby.
He’s already agreed to just lift me the money I need before he goes to work in the mornings.
I really can’t do this anymore IDI. I am loosing the will..
I have managed to make it to two weeks before and this time I intend to smash that record.
We go on a family holiday in 4 weeks time and if I continue to gamble we won’t be able to afford to go. I couldn’t bear to do that to the kids!!
This is my time to beat this. This time I have to.

[i-did-it]

You can beat it Alliesmum
The seven Ts
Take the time to think things through

Play the record to the end – I know only too well how strong the urge to gamble can be – in your mind think it through past the ”big win ” to how you feel when your money is gone and your children’s holiday is gone too.

It’s hard but it worth it and it sounds like you are doing all the right things.
Don’t let the addiction tell you it will be just one tenner – it never is !
You can do this Alliesmum
You deserve a good and peaceful life .
Today is day one
In a month you will be on holiday !

[alliesmum]

Day 2 and all is going good.. So far.
I won’t really struggle until Wednesday which including Fridays WERE my gambling days!
Here’s hoping I could say no to the little devil on my shoulder.
I have to say no! I stand to loose too much if I don’t.
Today has been a good day. No thoughts on gambling and I feel better for it. I have planned out what money needs to go where for the next 4 weeks and I am intending to stick to it. This is my time to beat this!
Today I did not gamble. Tomorrow I will not either.

[finding_laura]

Welcome back Rionagh. I’m glad you are here. You deserve a life and so does your family. And that is what gambling steals from us. I’m sure being a mom of three in today’s times must be very hectic and if you’re like me, gambling was a time to just not have to deal with anything. It was a time to relax and make me feel better somehow. But once it goes across the line of addiction or compulsion there is no more just taking a little break with a gamble. It just keeps getting worse and worse and worse. There is never enough time and money in the day to be spent gambling. And when not doing it i was thinking of doing it, or thinking how stupid I am and why I shouldn’t be doing it! No fear of unloading, we all need to get things off our chest. Learning to make healthier choices for ourselves. You didn’t ask for an addiction but that is what you have got. Hang in there, you can do this and turn this around. I’m a bit tired tonight, but popped on to see if anyone in group. So far just me. I had a a hard time finding my way into the group. Maybe others are as well. Have a good night. Tomorrow maybe pay off any of those things that you can. So you won’t have the money to be tempted with. Think I’m going to call it an early night in bed. You CAN do this!!
Laura

[i-did-it]

Hi Rionagh,
Stay strong Rionagh – it’s not easy – but just keep thinking about that holiday.
Think about all the lovely treats you and your family can have .
And keep remembering that once we have this addiction – we will never cash out and keep our money – so it pointless winning it .
You are doing great !

[alliesmum]

Day 3 for me today..
Night class has been cancelled so now I just need to fill that time with something productive.
I haven’t had any real urges yet but when I do I hope I can just push through – I don’t want to gamble anymore. I don’t want to live this dark and dire life anymore.

Happiness can be found even in the darkest of places if one only remembers to turn on the light

[i-did-it]

Hi Alliesmum

Great post – day 3 is super .
I find it helpful to post here everyday or even a few times a day if I need to.
You are so right – none of us need this darkness in our lives –
It is such a great feeling to have stopped.

What are you studying ?

Keep strong

[alliesmum]

Day 7 for me today.
Feeling very positive about my recovery today.
Barriers are still in place and have prevented me from gambling today which was one of my ’normal’ gambling days.. So far so good!
I have been keeping myself busy and trying not to dwell on the what ifs or the just one deposit won’t hurt days.
I feel like I have more support this time around. I think my husband understands a little more that I actually don’t want to gamble anymore , that this is an addiction and that I am trying to control it instead of it controlling me. No bank cards for me. Hubby has been lifting money from the atm as and when I need it.
This is my time. This time I can turn my life around.

[velvet]

Hi Alliessmum

I believe that the right support can make a tremendous difference to compulsive gamblers entering true recoveries but F&F do need direction or they flounder around in the dark and more often than not, get things wrong.

 So well done hubby and well done you helping him to understand a little of what your problem means to you – not an easy thing to do I know. 

Onward and upward, a great positive post

Velvet

[alliesmum]

Day 8 for me today.
There is still no sign of any real strong urges to gamble which is frightening – what if these urges just jump out and take over? What if I can do nothing to stop them? What if I am powerless to them?
I am not powerless, I am a strong and independent woman who can take this demon on! I am the leading lady in my own life and therefore this is my choice and my decision. I just need to take time to think things through before I act on impulse.

ADDICTION : the disease that makes you too selfish to see the havoc you have created or care about the people whose lives you have shattered.

I am hoping to get back from work in time for the 10pm group. . Maybe I’ll see some of you there.
Thanks for all the support.

[alliesmum]

Sometimes in life we need to step back and appreciate the little things..
For me today that was being able to pay a bill on time and also lodging extra money so the hubby can order extra things for the kids for their holidays while I’m at my night class (i still have nothing to do with the bank card).
This was such a nice feeling. A feeling of pride and accomplishment.. Something I haven’t felt for a long time.
I am now on day 10 and after being able to lodge that small amount of money for the kids I am feeling a lot more positive and I can also see the advantages of not gambling.
Onwards and upwards for me!

[alliesmum]

Day 14 for me and still going strong!
Not sure if it’s easier this time around because I’ve tried and failed before or maybe this time I’m more ready to change my life – either way it’s day 14 and I haven’t gambled and I haven’t got the means or desire to gamble either.

[i-did-it]

Well done Alliesmum.
Two weeks is brilliant .
I think eventually something just clicks in our heads and we want a better life .
Keep focused on your holiday.
It is a great feeling when you know you are putting money towards the right things.

Keep strong xx

[velvet]

Hi Alliesmum
You are definitely strong and independent enough to take those demons on by dealing with them just one day at a time. ‘If’ they dare to intrude on your peace of mind, kick them out, put the havoc behind you and enjoy today – those who love you will just want to see you happy and healthy.
You are doing well
Keep posting
Velvet

[alliesmum]

Day 21 for me today and I am still gamble free..
I hadn’t really had any urges until yesterday. The urges kept coming and going yesterday and to be honest I was struggling but hey I’m still here. I no longer have the means to gamble and if I did I think I would of yesterday. I am nowhere near ready to take back financial responsibility yet. This process is a slow one but if I just keep pushing through it is can do this!
I hope everyone here is doing well on their own journeys and if not just pick yourself back up and keep pushing forward.
Hope to maybe catch some of you on chat tonight.
Thank you everyone who has taken the time to leave me messages of support and be there for me even when I am not here.
Take care all and stay gamble free

[i-did-it]

Well done Alliesmum- hang in there.
The holiday must be close now – I hope you are really feeling the rewards of not gambling .
Urges come and go – it is great that you are resisting them.
Keeps strong xx

[alliesmum]

Day 36 for me and I am still in recovery.. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would get this far!

[velvet]

Hi Alliesmum
This is not a dream, wild or otherwise, 36 gamble-free days are your reality thanks to your courage and determination. 36 times you have concerned yourself with just one day – it works doesn’t it?
Great positive post
Velvet

[i-did-it]

Well done Alliesmum . 36 days is a fabulous achievement .
Keep strong xx

[Lily Nix]

Way to go alliesmum, 36 days is just great….everyday without gambling is a reason to celebrate!!!

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