Thanks kin. Ya its not easy to express what recovery looks like through your own eyes but I’m always hoping that my own experiences can help someone else. The thing is there is no one way to do something either. I get people’s perception that one size does not fit all because it’s true. Just because I got into programs and stuff doesn’t mean it’s the only way to heal. It’s just what’s worked for me through the last 12 years of healing from my addictive issues. I no for me that connection is key.
Last night I had my staff xmas party. It was in a pub we go to each year for it. One thing they do that irritates me is they buy a bunch of pulltabs and give them out. I was playing darts with a coworker and when I came back they had put a stack of about 10 pull tabs on my plate setting. I looked at a guy that I respected and new had kids and handed it to him and said I’m not aloud to gamble but here maybe you’ll get something for your kids. He has quit drinking but never mentioned a gambling problem at all during our time working together so I just figured he would get why I was handing them to him instead. It was an akward moment but something that I new I needed to get rid of the moment I sat down so that I wasn’t tempted. These situations happen so I had to think fast. Later that night my coworker texted me saying that they had all gone to the casino next door after to but luckily I had left early because I dont drink and people were getting stoned and drunk pretty fast. In my recovery journey I’ve learned how to just exit situations without explanation. It’s just part of the process.