My first post after my first bet. It was written a few days ago.
I looked back at my stupid and foolish decision after I return to my old reckless, impulsive, not sensible ways and behaviors. They can only lead to darkness and hopelessness in the end one day.
If I have continued on gambling, I will end up losing all my money – all the winnings; all my savings in addition to new debts that I may have borrowed to chase losses.
I shall wake up to the reality of gambling and face the costly price and heavy consequences or damage of my mistake. It will be another rock bottom.
Repent before it is too late.
I am telling myself to stop and stay stop.
I am telling myself to get out and stay away from danger immediately.
After you win, you want to win more; I would have to battle my greediness; that is why it was easy to stop but difficult to stay stop until you lost everything
I may have a grandiose and unrealistic plan, I may hope to do something beautiful with the money. But unfortunately they always never come true. This is the truth.
I cannot find any explanation. When I work hard, I could use all my money on my family. It was a responsible and selfless act of love for others.
But when I was active gambling, I may be handling more money but I did not want to use these money on my family. Why? This is just so ugly. It shows how irresponsible and selfish I can become after I gamble.
I have become so self-centered, self-seeking and greedy, that loving and caring for others is no longer my top priority.
I only care about what I want to do; I only wish to continue gambling with the money and hope to win some more.
Like the Jekyll and Hyde story, gambling has turn me into an evil and selfish demon.
In reality, this is the beginning and starting.
The common ending for this kind of story is usually a terrible, dark and tragic one.
Gambling has come to rob, steal and destroy. Those gambling businesses are very deceiving.
They are very sure as long as we return to gamble, we will lose back everything we win and more in the end.
Win/lose: I lost in the end.
Gambling makes me sick and unwell.
This is the truth.