Day 15. Got paid today. Went and got cashiers checks. Paid my bills. Paid extra to car payment and a double payment to a debt and got cashiers check for extra to give “my other 1/2 “to hold on to till next year. The extra he is sitting on is for saving or emergency never to go directly back to me. Of course I wanted to use the money to try and make more. We all know how that works. The last time I tried that it put me 4800 behind. (Not to mention all the chaos of chasing) I am relieved yet sick to my stomach knowing everything I paid out should really be money to save. Can’t go back in time just forward. I wish I could just get over my last screw up. Ugggh! Makes me sick thinking about what almost 5k could do. In reality that’s nothing compared to all the money I pissed away over the years. I got a response from the Casino. It was an email that said “your trip per offer has been canceled” I will assume that is it and I will not be billed since they did not say anything about it. God I hope that’s the end of it. I still have to tell one of my friend who still plans to go that she is out of luck and will have to book her own trip if she still wants to go with the others we asked. I can’t worry about that. It’s not like she paid in the first place. I still feel bad but it is what it is. My head is already planning for the next pay. God give me the strength to do the same thing. I am not wrecking another Christmas due to gambling. Already done shopping but I do not want to be around family during a gambling hangover. A day at a time, a check st a time.
