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Dear Monique , Nomore, Michelle and others who are reading.

Thank you for showing your support. I had my doubts about posting this, as it gets my blood boiling remembering how helpless I once was with the addiction in my life.
However those awful feelings made it clear that I had to post my reflection, because there are millions who are living the ugly now. It is for them that I post. It is for them that they know they are not alone and it is for them that I write, hoping they know they know this is not how their life will always be. Hoping they seek recovery.
There has to be more awareness of what families go through on a daily basis with a cg in denial, this also includes those that underplay their gambling problem. The suffering and the stress, mixed with horrific anxieties is no way to live and little ones aren’t spared from it either.

Nomore, I agree this gambling addiction is a disease, one that isn’t acknowledged like a substance abuser. I’ll never forget when I had my father evaluated, the first question was whether he abused drugs or alcohol. When mentioned he was a compulsive gambler, the lady just shrugged it off. I realized she wasn’t concerned because there wasn’t a compulsive gambler box to be checked off, like drug addict or alcoholic. I knew I had to be creative and say that I felt he had a mental illness, mentioning characteristic of a cg without mentioning the word cg again. He got evaluated, and sure enough he was said to have dementia, but since a little girl he behaved the same way. The only difference being his steady decline of memory loss, otherwise he is the same.
There are many reasons why problem gambling is undercover, because countries need the revenue, however, it doesn’t take away from the gambler in denial either. I feel there has to be ownership regardless of the addiction. I appreciate your point of view and I’m glad you shared it. Hoping you are finding more happiness and joy in your life and your day to day routine.