Hi Carole
Thanks for your post. I am trying to put structure into my days. Its something that my counsellor really recommends too. It does help me, i manage so much better with structure. Otherwise i float along in any direction not knowing what i am doing. Writing things down does help me. I bought a diary to keep things in order and so i can follow a definite plan for the days. I will stick to it as best i can as i have become quite undisciplined. I am putting recovery first, i know i need some more fun but there will be no fun if i dont have recovery. It has to come above anything and it will. I am so desperate for change that i am catapulting myself into recovery as of a few days ago. Fun things will be in there somehow but for now i just do the next thing that keeps me safe. I am a movie lover, my treat will be going to the movies with a giant popcorn. It has been my fave thing to do since i was a child. There is plenty i will be able to do but first structure and paying things off. Family first, then me if theres any left over. Thats just the way i do it. I got myself into this crazy hole and i will get myself out, but not alone, that is one big mistake i have always made. I alone got myself here, no one made me, it wasnt anyone elses fault i did the damage. I cant get out by myself though i most definately need support. In time things will settle, but right now, as positive as i am trying to be, i am finding it very difficult to cope and get through the minutes. I just cant wait for this to pass.
P
