- This topic has 38 відповідей, 9 учасників, and was last updated 10 років, 6 місяців тому by vera.
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28 Вересня 2013 о 6:44 pm #20972ready2changeУчасник
Feels like the right time to start a new diary. Been very focused lately im just over a month bet free and i feel ok. Not much else to say at the moment so il just keep it simple
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2 Жовтня 2013 о 11:09 am #20973АнонімГість
Hi Celtic
You nearly pulled it out of the bag last night. I watched the game and was really hoping you could keep a clean sheet….very nearly, but with the players you have it was a brilliant effort. Glad your back trying to fight this god awful disease. You know whta your doing and I canniot give advice other than to say, keep trying…….ALWAYS 🙂With me, its trying to fill the ‘unforgiving time’. By that I mean I find it so easy to let myself become distracted and turn my thoughts to making a few quid, instead of being rationale and appreciating that its never worked in the past 30 odd years so why should it be any different this time. The ‘buzz’ needs to come from somewhere else my friend………..its just a matter of finding the magic key and unlocking the secrets. I’m still looking myself……………………..but I won’t stop fighting. I had to many painful memories including prison and nearly the loss of my current wife (she wouldn’t like that reference !) hopefully my last wife !!! lol !! I’m still finding it reall touigh and its just over 8 months. I cannot say its been easy, but I am reaping the rewards and thats all I can promise you RTC…….
Keep going
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2 Жовтня 2013 о 2:53 pm #20974cat438Учасник
It is a journey and we continue to fight for a gamble free life. There are ups and downs on this journey, but if it was easy we would not need to have support. R2C my Mum who passed away much too young and has been gone for over 20 years had a saying and I am sure that you have heard it… “anything worth having is worth working for” I keep going back to those words for myself!!! We have to keep working recovery one day at a time!!!!
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10 Жовтня 2013 о 2:33 pm #20975veraУчасник
Trying to post to you and a few others R2C…all failed to deliver…going to counselling now…bit of a fake…not totally G free but I wont gamble today. hopefully HOW ARE YOU
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12 Жовтня 2013 о 10:50 pm #20976pУчасник
Hi R2C how are things going with you lately.. Hope you are having good days. Sometimes just posting helps to talk about things, get them off your chest, wishing you a peaceful day
P
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20 Жовтня 2013 о 9:20 pm #20977ready2changeУчасник
Thanks for the posts just a quick hello to everybody. I havnt been able to post on here this last couple of weeks was starting to worry i wouldnt be able to post again and even get the chance to say goodbye to Ed and Vera etc so great to be able to post again you only miss something when its gone. The new forum is growing on me. Im 8 weeks bet free i think, im getting oil tomorrow a mate got a new tele last week he gave me his old 1 for free wouldnt take anyting of me its making a big difference to my home. Im getting there slowly but surely 1 day at a time. God bless
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20 Жовтня 2013 о 9:56 pm #20978icandothisУчасник
Congratulations on 8 weeks!!! Hope to see you around here more often.
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20 Жовтня 2013 о 10:12 pm #20979veraУчасник
Why would you want to say goodbye to us R2C?
We re still here! -
22 Жовтня 2013 о 8:25 am #20980ready2changeУчасник
I coudnt post this last few weeks i musnt of had my settings right on here with the new change over or maybe it was because i post on my mobile. I wasnt really sure and i was starting to worry i wouldnt be able to post again. So its good to be able to post again not that i post that much but i missed being able to post when i couldnt. I like the new forum i think its great when you press new posts you skip to the end saves scrolling. I got my oil yesterday took a lot of satisfaction in that. Im doing ok taking nothing for granted and trying not to over analyse but at the same time im trying to limit what money i carry on me at any time. Few worries within the family but hopfully everyting will work out. Trying very hard to be patient in every day life and treat people with respect at all times. Lifes not easy but im hopfully getting there one day at a time.
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22 Жовтня 2013 о 1:51 pm #20981icandothisУчасник
Good to hear from you and that things are going well. I think I need to follow your example and not over analyse… something I tend to do. And when I do, I usually end up beating myself up and/or feeling bad about things (most of which I have no power to change) No need to complicate things. One day at a time…
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23 Жовтня 2013 о 6:55 pm #20982ready2changeУчасник
Plenty of times my hearts broke with this disgusting disease so im going to make the most of how im feeling at the moment trying to liue in the moment and enjoy the simple things in life. I use to laugh at my ma when she said the best things in life are free. Im up to walking 3 hours some days when i have the time i love it. Maybe il walk on every beach in ireland that could be a challenge for me and although petrols not cheap its cheaper than gambling thats for sure. Great result in the footie last night always a bonus. No thoughts of gambling thank God but sure they can come from nowhere especially when i have to go shopping haha so il just keep ticking along and keep my head down and take no risks
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5 Листопада 2013 о 1:28 pm #20983ready2changeУчасник
Think im just over 10 weeks gamble free not really counting days etc. Im doing pretty good odaat trying to make progress in loads of aspects of my life have hardly had a minute lately iv been that busy. I know of somebody who has had a slip after over 18 months of it and who was absolutely flying in recovery i never seen the slip coming at all. It shows we can never be to careful with this disgusting disease whether were 1 week or 20 years off it were all really only off it today. Im thankful to be gamble free today its very good for my well being and thats a fact!
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5 Листопада 2013 о 2:00 pm #20984cat438Учасник
r2c, it is so true that no matter how long we have gamble free we can’t get complacent. As a compulsive gambler I know that if I put one dollar/euro or whatever in a machine then it is back to the road of self destruction. No matter how much gamble free time we have we are all the same when it comes to placing our next bet. I know for me it means a lot when people have the courage to say they gambled after having some gamble free time, as it shows that none of us are safe from this addiction, no matter how long we have gamble free.
WTG on your gamble free time. We have to continue on our recovery taking it one day at a time!!! Have a wonderful gamble free day!!! -
13 Листопада 2013 о 4:59 pm #20985ready2changeУчасник
Thanks cat your a star. Im ticking along nicely staying focused and just takeing it one day at a time. Its funny how you almost forget the pains of slips and long periods of your life were u were broke threw this addiction but at the same time its kinda imprinted in my brain that gambling just dosent agree with me. I was like danger mouse at times. Being an active cg is torture and just for today i have no intention of tortureing myself life can be hard enough at times without me pressing the self destruct button.
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13 Листопада 2013 о 6:21 pm #20986icandothisУчасник
Hi R2C, Good to see you posting! Been kind of quiet around here. I have been fighting urges today. My daughter is leaving the house shortly, which is something she hasn’t done during the day since the breakup. Her being here all day has been a huge barrier for me. My CG is screaming…freedom…go for it! I like what you said…being an ACTIVE CG is torture. We need to remember always that we are CG’s, which isn’t so bad as long as we are not active. Also, you are right, why would we want to torture ourselves? Then again, we can be active CG’s…active doing anything else but gambling.
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23 Листопада 2013 о 8:11 am #20987ready2changeУчасник
Thanks ican. Have to admit im finding it harder to post partly due to it being a bit awkard typeing from a phone plus iv been on gambling recovery forums for nearly 2 years and maybe the novelty has wore off. This is the only forum i write on now but i still read on the other 1 from time to time. Feel im getting into a dangerous period 3 months gamble free odaat but historically im very vulnerable now forgetting the pain of heartbreaking slips getting a bit of a cash flow again etc etc. Unfortunately the bank sent me a letter yesterday with a new debit card to replace my cash card i rung them up saying that i had cancelled my debit card for a reason and can i not just use my cash card they said cash cards are getting done away with and my cash card wont work from the middle of january. Bit of a disaster really feel unsafe in my home again i need to get a plan because this has the potential to feck me up. Need to try and post more often cant be getting complacent i am continueing to keep my blocks tight usually leaving the house with no more than 60 quid and thats just incase i get a flat tyre. But im very well aware i can change my mind between two lamp posts so my blocks are very important just a pity the bank feels cash cards are a thing of the past they just dont realise that a good few people cant deal with debit /visa cards and its not just cgs it would also be shop acholics etc etc. But thats life and odaat i will have to try extra harder. Hope everyboday has a good gamble free weekend
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24 Листопада 2013 о 8:00 am #20988ready2changeУчасник
Day 90 three months gamble free and its very good for my health and well being. Im enjoying being single atm im trying to get better odaat im making we changes in my life that i neglected for years im able to do this now that im thinking straight odaat. Trying to be extra viligant atm and as cat always says il just concentrate on today and take it One day at a time
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24 Листопада 2013 о 7:43 pm #20989pУчасник
Hi R2C
Congratulations on your 90 days 🙂
Can you try another bank? What about just having cash access and no cards at all, just walking in to the bank and withdrawing some cash when you need it?
You have done really well, just keep going and use that one day at a time rule.P
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25 Листопада 2013 о 10:39 am #20990DuncХранитель
Hi R2C
A fantastic achievement, you should be really prod of yourself.
The issue that often arises when counting days and months is where we stop counting, where we move on and don’t worry about when we last gambled and focus on recovery going forward where the only next date that should be an issue is the date of the next bet.
I’ve always had an issue with —–ing, the reason in my opinion is it’s a goal and once that goal is reached there are a few things that can happen
1. A new Goal is set
2. Complacency becomes an issue
3. Testing can I after “X” period control the situationR2C, it’s a huge achievement, all I ask is you take care at this time, Goals are like bets in many ways, If we make it then we get a high… if we don’t we get a low, both potential triggers for a gambler… if we don’t count then we move on in recovery without having the added stress of a goal that can become a trigger
It’s still a fabulous achievement, You should be really proud
Take Care
Harry
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25 Листопада 2013 о 12:34 pm #20991icandothisУчасник
Congratulations, R2C! Well done. Keep working recovery and making those we changes. One change today can make a big difference in the future. Have a great week!
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25 Листопада 2013 о 1:46 pm #20992АнонімГість
Hi there fella,
Congratulations on the 3 months. thats a brilliant achievement. We started our journey at similar times and I think the temptations never go away. But the do fade. Focus on those important things in life like family, friends and Celtic constantly winning 🙂
Think of you often…………………
Keep fighting my friend.
Ed
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26 Листопада 2013 о 11:10 pm #20993ready2changeУчасник
Thanks 4 the posts. Terrible result in the football tonite but i had to laugh just wernt good enough unfortunately and not one clinical striker in the squad so what can you expect bit like recovery if i dont keep my blocks rock solid well eventually im going to weaken so odaat im focused again. Think Harrys right counting days is risky and i cant afford to be taking risks.
I feel pretty good at this moment in time im getting very fit its good for my mental health etc. My sister wants me to do a bit of house sitting for her for a while her tenants move out on sunday and shel hardly get it rented out again b4 xmas so il stay in it a few nights a week for her im glad she asked me i would do anyting in my power to help my sisters God help them. Im very busy at the minute and im better that way. I feel pretty free im trying to live in the moment dont want to gamble today and thats all that matters il face tomorrow when it comes -
27 Листопада 2013 о 2:49 pm #20994cat438Учасник
Wow, that is awesome!!! Yeah 90 days gamble free and you did it one day at a time. It is not easy and you should be so proud of yourself for this achievement. My only “advice” is don’t get complacent and keep working it one day at a time. Don’t test the waters to see if you are “cured” LOL I don’t mean that badly R2C but we always need to keep vigilant with this addiction. You are doing great and keep on doing what you are doing ODAAT is the only way to go!!!
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29 Листопада 2013 о 9:42 pm #20995pУчасник
Congratulations on your time gamble free, i too find counting days detrimental, i try not to worry what day it is but more that i just keep continuing on without gambling regardless of the day it is. My only concern is not starting again so i just hope each day i don’t gamble and in doing that day at a time thing the days start passing. I have the date in my head of when i last gambled but i don’t count individual days. It used to be a big trigger for me. So now i don’t do it. Each and every one of us is different though and some people love to count days and that is great if it works for them. Find what works for you and looks like you already are. Congratulations on being part of the gamble free life. You are doing well.. life is so much better without that madness hey..
P
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12 Грудня 2013 о 9:07 pm #20996desdemonaУчасник
Hi ((((readytochange)))! A huge congratulations on every single one of your gamble free days. It isn`t always easy to work recovery, but it sure is worth it not to live the insanity of compulsively gambling. It would be good to remind ourselves of how we felt pre-recovery. For me fear, anxiety, and depression were ever present. Recovery has so many benefits and compulsive gambling will steal everything we hold dear eventually. Way to go (((rtc))). Carole
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22 Січня 2014 о 9:59 am #20997АнонімГість
Hi Celtic
I am sooooo chuffed to know that you are still coming to the website and reading. You have restored my faith……….whatever stage yiour at right know, I hope you are doing well, truly my ol mucker. I always keep an eye on your results too and what can I say………………you need rangers back in your league to make a proper fight of things. Its too easy for you at the moment. Saw a couple of you games on the telly recently and look good, but not so sure about the opposition !!!! Anyway as I said, am really made up that you still read the forums. I have always thought that, that in itself is the greatest sign that we want to control this stinkin rotten evil disease. Take care mate and keep going, even if you ever slip, just get back on the horse and focus again and again and again………… !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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22 Січня 2014 о 9:23 pm #20998pУчасник
Hi welcome back, good to see a post from you again.. hope things continue to go well for you and we see more updates from you again
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29 Січня 2014 о 12:49 am #20999ready2changeУчасник
Thanks 4 the posts hopfully get back to use soon. Been a tough couple of months gambling is hard work with long unsocial hours and unfortunately the pay is terrible. Havnt gambled since friday due to lack of funds. No choice but to try again very little confidence in myself to arrest this but i have to try odaat. Its no life practicising my addiction no life at all wouldnt wish it on anyone !
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29 Січня 2014 о 12:55 am #21000bcfc4lifeУчасник
Their a plenty of people on the same boat as yourself.. I myself am one. I find it a lot easier not to gamble when I have a lack of funds… So take 1 day at a time and concentrate/plan that 1st day you know you will have money.. Fill that day with so much activities/jobs/chores that you won’t have time to even think about gambling. Keep up the hard work ready2change, remember we are all here to stop. Don’t ruin your hardwork already.
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30 Січня 2014 о 12:43 pm #21001icandothisУчасник
Welcome back. You have many gamble-free days! You know how to stop practicing the addiction and begin practicing recovery. You have done it before and you can do it again. Keep posting.
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30 Січня 2014 о 5:39 pm #21002ready2changeУчасник
Thanks bcfc and Ican. Really hope to catching up with a lot of diaries very very soon. Feel a bit better yesterday and today. You do be kind of relieved when you literally cant chase no more. Its like i play a stupid game every few months on and off on and off. When i gamble i dont exercise i dont eat properly i dont work properly i dont answer my phone much i dont be where i say i am etc etc. When im not gambling i work properly i exercise properly im available on my phone im reliable i eat properly well kinda haha.
I have to keep trying to arrest this rotten disease. Have to lóok forward and although im scared im going to always gohpng to be a serial slipper i have to try and put that to the back of mind besides i should only be taking it one day at a time.
Im a bit embarrased and feel like a bit of a broken record on here this last year. This is a good forum with good people going to try and post more reguarly -
30 Січня 2014 о 8:03 pm #21003pУчасник
Hi R2C
As your name suggests you are ready to change and this might take some time, progress not perfection they say and i am one shining example of that here. Please never feel bad saying you have slipped up. If you know my history i slipped for four years coming back saying I’ve done it again it was total madness and for the life of me i couldn’t stop it. It just got to a point for me that the relapse was longer and longer and harder and harder to overcome to the point the pain was so intense i had no alternative but to get into recovery if i wanted to survive. Keep going R2C, never give up on giving up. One day at a time, just get through today not gambling, when your money comes in pay it straight on your bills or make it hard for yourself to access.. if you get the money out of the way its half the battle. Its good you keep coming here. The addiction wants you to stay away. The addiction just wants a feed and its hungry and if you starve that addiction it will eventually quieten down its just getting support while its so ravenous. Keep coming here, keep trying, for as long as it takes. If you go out there and stay away you are playing right into the addictions hands, just keep coming back here, reach out and grab onto whatever support you can get, counselling, GA, post, read.. i totally understand what you are going through i was the queen of relapsing here, but i hope no more. Our whole lives go down the drain the obsession takes over and its all we can think of.. as soon as you get that desire to gamble, try to change that thought to something else, anything, start doing other things, call someone, go to a meeting, get online, eat, read, cook , work, watch a movie, anything.. because those urges do eventually pass.. they do, just gotta wait them out and they will fade. Keep going, you are doing great by acknowledging here you gambled and you are trying to move on from it. You are not alone you know that right..
P
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2 Лютого 2014 о 1:01 am #21004ready2changeУчасник
Thanks P. Had no contact wit my v gud female friend for at least 3 months weve been in contact again since xmas its nice were still friends all be it from a distance its best that way and to be honest have to keep some blocks up their for both are sakes. My main priority now is my ma and da.
I am very protective of God but i also know how sick a sense of humour he has but i still believe.
Im learning alot about me im learning a lot about life and a lot about gambling addiction.
Ive learnt im a terrible gambler and i meamterrible im not a big machine person these days but when the bookies shut i play machines because ive started and i kant believe how bad value machines are when theyre played compulsively to me its aform of injustice and resent that its allowed i remember as a child seeing a clip of fruit machines been thrown into the sea when they came out first itwas in black and white i wish it would happen again. Iknow of a man who is a recovering alcoholic who has madea clean fortune out of gambling addicts for me he should know better. But thats life were all only human. -
2 Лютого 2014 о 9:02 am #21005ready2changeУчасник
Just re read last nights post which i posted whilst drinking would kinda like to delete it but il leave it up because it was my thoughts at the time but note to self try not to post whilst ive drink in me its embarrasing the next morning. Hope everyone has a good bet free Sunday and hopfully no rain
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4 Лютого 2014 о 1:09 am #21006ready2changeУчасник
Doing ok odaat
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5 Лютого 2014 о 7:56 pm #21007pУчасник
Hi R2C good to hear you are doing the one day at a time thing it helps me too.. dont worry that you posted while drinking.. i dont think you said anything bad.. at least you are posting.
Good to see more regular posts, have a good dayP
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26 Лютого 2014 о 6:51 pm #21008ready2changeУчасник
No gambling since my last post thank God. Pretty busy at the moment and trying to stay focused I feel focused odaat. Few things going on that it would be so easy to sun and have a bet but it would only make things worse.
Im doing ok could be better and could be worse it can always be worse once that first bet is placed.
Just for today I will not gamble
Take care everybody! -
26 Лютого 2014 о 8:26 pm #21009veraУчасник
Good to see a post from you R2C.
I’m “white knuckling” through the month of February.
ODAAT! -
25 Квітня 2014 о 11:14 pm #21010veraУчасник
Good to see you posting on Ed’s thread, R 2 C!
You haven’t been around for a while!!
Usually when a CG “disappears”it is not a good sign.
Whatever the reason for your absence, I’m glad to see you back here and I hope you will continue your recovery
ODAAT from now on!
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