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#44686
finding_laura
Ishtirokchi

Another member here, Johnny with all the numbers I do believe, mentioned thinking of it like a bad accident. Where it costs you money and your are just glad you got out with your life. I think of it as an expensive lesson. I was in total shock when I hit my financial rock bottom. Had mortgaged my home to the maximum, had several large high interest loans that would take years and years to pay off, and maxed out credit cards. Winter was coming and I had no heating fuel and we were barely feeding ourselves. And I had been hiding the whole mess from my partner. I was suicidal. You wonder how you got there.

How did I forget the money?  It took a lot of effort but I knew it wasn’t coming back. And I could either find things to enjoy in each day or I could go crazy. It is so hard to let go but you have to or it will drive you there too. We get there chasing our losses and thinking somehow we will win and if we do we will stop and hold on to it. A pipe dream for a compulsive gambler. Breath. You will be ok. Keep working on it. Laura