So, Damian and i havent really spoken about the DNA test….you know, the old ignore it and it will go away. Anyway, tonight i say to him that he just has to do it. I know he doesnt want to, god only knows i dont want him to, but it has to be done so lets do it and get it over with. Ive just finished eating, he says.
I was on group, 3/4 the way through and he says come on then, lets get it over with. Now, i KNOW it has to be done, i KNOW what will be will be and i KNOW i cant change the outcome. So off we trudge to the bedroom, he does it (a whole 30 seconds) and its over.
Im sitting here now, all the old feelings are re-surfacing. Would someone like to explain to me why. Everything will be ok, he says and i KNOW its true, we will be ok, but im back there in that little hell i created and im pretty ****** off about it. Am i wrong in thinking that this shouldnt be happening? That its not fair? Even though i believe that sasha is his, a part of me wants to hope beyond hope. My emotional brain is hysterically crying, my logical brain is telling me everything i already know, what everyone has told me, and im trying to convince mr logical to take over.
It did really feel like a dream.
Bye for now, Kathryn xxFighting the good fight…One day at a time