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#30380
lauren05
Ishtirokchi

Indeed, Micky. The three of us will have to live on love and fresh air…..well for me it will just be fresh air….
I get charged with over £100 for bank charges every month as it goes over my OD limit and I’m working out of my OD. And you’re right there’s nothing I can do about it. I dare not pquestion as I fear my OD will be removed and then I’ll truly be stuffed. I’m also just keeping my head down till the end of the month. I have no choice. Had the energy direct debit returned and could do nothing about it when the bank suggested I deposit money to avoid the unpaid fee. So I just have to take this all on the chin.

Tough one, Vera that your hubby doesn’t know about the lump sum and hasn’t asked. You’re blessed that he’s paying for your physio. Hope you feel better.

I filled up my tank with petrol when I got paid which is slowly dwindling which has to lget me to GMA. I paid my credit cards which has little bit of credit after also been hit with almost just as much interest as I paid on the card so plan to use that for the trip back as I don’t think I have enough fuel for a return trip.

Micky, thanks for your support on my stay at GMA and this journey. I have 12 week online support program on here after that and another 2 day stay after the 12 weeks. So it’s some journey. Received a courtesy call from them today and will get the agreement in the post tomorrow.

But I’m as miserable, agitated, anxious and frustrated as hell like my hands are tied. Just wonder if I did gamble if I may have won some to get over this hurdle and have to remind myself…. I’ll just get the same outcome.

Still think of the amount I’ve spent on gambling in the last year and realise I would’ve won more than I expected to win gambling if I had not gambled, if that makes sense. What I spent was more than any win or amount when I was up.

Micky, you’re blessed with such a serene and scenic surroundings. It’s a place to go,when you’ve got no money and makes you appreciate life and brings peace and solitude amidst all this noise and madness we’re in. I used to love walking along the coast to Helen’s Bay and back,. It made me feel alive and anew.

So it looks like we’re going to have to take turns to paddle our slow boat to China, guys. We’ve run out of fuel, we’re drifting cos there’s no wind and would be lucky to see any life or another vessel passing by anywhere near us. There’s not even any sea life about. Just hope we don’t have to scoop out water along the way to stay afloat.

Just feel so disillusioned , fed up and depressed. I like being a recluse so I don’t have to pretend or put on my mask.
Neighbour started mowing my front lawn today and when I went out to thank him, he offered to do the back garden as well. Feel so rotten that I cannot offer to take them out for a meal and they’re looking after my cats while I’m away, too. He knocked on my kitchen window after 8pm to call me to see the hedgehog he feeds in their garden. I thought that was nice but felt and looked like a tramp with unwashed hair tied up, tights, t-shirt and trainers, unkempt. Haven’t been outdoors since Sunday and don’t want to be seen.

Fortunate to be working from home. May have to go to do a job in Germany when I get out. Just as well my company card is paid up to pay for the travel or I would have been done and thought of suicide before asking my family for a loan to pay my card.
Just not in a good place now. Can’t think, can’t sleep, don’t know where the hours go or what I do during the day except for work but still go to bed so late at night without any household chores or cleaning done. Just don’t get round to it and the day is done. But have to do it all before next week. Hopeless, destitute, dismal, doomed.