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So much truth in that post. this week I have put so much effort into gambling…that’s the addict part of me. Its so easy to get addicted to gambling , and not as easy to get addicted to recovery. What just doesn’t make sense to me in just a week prior I was so happy to be one month g free. I don’t know how 6 days later I can be caught right back in the vicious wrath of gambling. how things can change so quickly , how quality of life can change so quickly from relapsing. how I can be doing well mentally, or better at least, and then boom it comes back around to suck me in. I will def attend ga again this week, as many nights as I can. Weekly councelling is 1 time per week as it’s all I can do Right now since I’m paying out of pocket 150$ per session. No insurance. I really need to separate myself from my behavior . this is the hardest thing for me. I think one of the main reasons I gkabke is free time, and not much money coming in right now. I need to get a job badly. Once I see paycheques come in I can put some toward my debt and feel more at ease and leas stressed out. everyday I wake up I ask myself why, how, how the heck did I take it here. The number one rule should have always been don’t gamble with money that isn’t yours. I don’t know where along the line my brain thought it was ok to use credit? It’s just mind boggling. I went crazy somewhere down the line. I really need to use this as motivation to rebuild. I’m tired of beating myself up and feeling sorry for myself over this. Enough is enough. I need to be mad enough to fix this anyway Possible. thanks for your words and advice steev. sorry I don’t always follow it Nor my own. if I had listened to peoples advice I could have saved a lot of hurt , stress and time, but I guess you have to learn the hard way and lose everything in order to finally change.