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    • #8243
      michelle64
      Ishtirokchi

      ‘GA’ and MY gambling journey
       
      I look back, but try not to dwell
      At my life of pure gambling hell
      I felt I had to give up and get well
      because inside I felt so unwell
      My head felt so emotionally sick
      and my body as heavy as a brick
      but I couldn’t stop and I felt thick
      inside the penny just didn’t click
      I often asked myself ‘why oh why?’
      to gambling I couldn’t say bye
      but gambling was my main al-lie
      it gave me such an incredible high
      High when placing that first bet
      when playing I could often forget
      I needed the adrenaline rush sweat
      and I forgot about gaining more debt
      I was fixated by the blasted machine
      the noises and the colour of the screen
      getting the features I really was keen
      winning was like the ‘cat who got the cream’
      But to be honest I hardly ever won
      I often wandered what I’d done
      to my head I needed to place a gun
      It was serious now and no longer fun
      What I was doing was totally insane
      because of it I got more strain
      gambling had become my life’s bane
      and I promised myself never again
      But within a day or the next week
      the gambling buss again I did seek
      after another loss my life was bleak
      I actually felt inside I was so weak
      In front of the machine again I’d stand
      for far more time than I had planned
      I actually needed to be banned
      my gambling had got out of hand
      The machine I could no longer meet
      by the machine I had been beat
      a ‘nemesis’ I could no longer compete
      I actually sat and admitted defeat
      I felt I had to swallow my pride
      by telling someone about my secret inside
      I went to GA and I talked and cried
      I really just wanted to run and hide
      But it was great sharing and getting it out
      I expected the others to just shout
      but they seemed to know what it was about
      after talking to them I felt less fear and doubt
      While I was talkingto them in a low tone
      I no longer felt that I was doing it alone
      I explained about all the money I had blown
      and how into a deceiful person I had grown
      Going to GA suddenly felt so fine
      and it sent a wierd tingle up my spine
      knowing the addiction was not just mine
      with GA, maybe for gambling I wouldnt pine
      I went to GA night after night
      It started to feel less of a fright
      There were others like me in my sight
      being there started to feel alright
      I knew GA’s help I needed to seek
      as I sat there and listened and began to speak
      I realiaed then that I wasn’t a freak
      and I no longer felt terrible and weak
      I was able to honestly declare
      as I sat in my GA chair
      I started to feel less panic and fear
      I found that I could honestly share
      I have continued to go to GA
      and said what I needed to say
      in order for my gambling to stay away
      it’s no longer MY way, but the GA way
                                                  Michelle64
       
       

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