Early evening Day 2
Trying to do things differently this time to put things in place for recovery.
Registered with Gamstop today. To think I never did it before seems a bit crazy now. I thought I could be strong enough not to need it plus as it is a subscription service I didn’t want to pay for it! At £2.50 a month, less than the price of a coffee at most places! I now see it as an investment in my recovery and as I have spent hundreds on 1 spin of a wheel then it’s madness not too!
I got through an important time after work. I would often come home, be in the house on my own before my partner returned from work for example and have that as betting time. Particularly if something during the day had wound me up or when I was chasing losses. Generally things got worse and it inevitably would affect my mood in the evening. Plus it was also time to look at tips for football matches later in the evening. This would leave some of my evenings watching a game I wasn’t actually that interested in, it was for betting purposes to generate excitement or constant checks on my phone to check the scores making me distracted from anything else going on.
A big downfall has also been surplus money in my account. Right now I just can’t bet I am basically down to zero. So when hopefully I do build up extra I will put it in an easy access savings account. So I can get it when I really need it and stop any temptation for really big gambling benders on my bankcard.
So today I left my phone in the car deliberately, went into the house and just sat down with a cup of tea. My mind is still obviously whirring like mad after a recent relapse but at least I was not actually involved in gambling or scrolling through sports betting tips. In future hopefully this can be a time when I just can learn to just chill out, read, exercise again, go walking. Walk into town, buy a magazine and sit in a coffee shop. Anything to prevent the urges.
Life could certainly be more comfortable and fulfilling without gambling. I think we all reaĺly know that. It’s about stopping those little demons that encourage us to have that first bet. I am thinking just now that I don’t really care if I stay a bit skint forever and don’t try and win big to cover holidays or whatever else I convinced myself I could buy if I gambled. I would rather be skint and have peace of mind that I don’t gamble.
