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It is good that you have posted although it is hard to read your story – I can relate to much of it.

I also felt worthless, not so much when I was first “in action” but after I had made the pledge to stop and then I found I couldn’t. It took me about 10 years from my first visit to GA to actually stopping (for almost another 10 years so far.)

What made the difference? Deciding to put as much, if not more energy into my recovery as I did into my gambling. I didn’t just go to GA weekly – I went every night if I could and really got involved with the fellowship. On top of that I did counselling, co-counselling, I went to self-help groups. Did lots of reading, kept a journal. I put EVERYTHING into my recovery. I had to. I knew I wouldn’t make it if I didn’t. Eventually I was able to take the foot off the accelerator and lead a more normal life – but I think for a year or two I was a recovery addict. No regrets – it worked for me.

So you know the ropes with counselling, GA etc. Telling your partner would be a good move and involve her in your recovery – BUT get advice about when and how to tell her. It is better it comes from you than her finding out some other way – but you might want to wait until you can show you are on the recovery path.

Keep posting here and it would be good to see you in support group as well.