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Let it put if it heals. If it’s too much for some they can read it in pieces. I feel your pain when you post and if that helps you feel like there is someone out there who is connected to you, then that’s great. If it 1helps, that is what it is meant to do. I too feel that by posting to you and others that I am accountable for my actions. It helps me and so I do it.
I have watched shows on addiction before and often they advise spouses to leave the situation in order for the addict to seek help. Sometimes it is what’s best for both. I think your father is naive to state that the spouse should never leave. Each situation is different. A marriage is a union of two people and it should be a beneficial one for both. He cannot stay in it for you if it is not what is good for him. He may be so overburdened by his own situation that he cannot help you with yours. Or perhaps he didnt want you to be burdened with him while dealing with your own traumas. It could be many things. When you are better, feeling more like a conversation about your direction in your future, it’s a conversation you can have. Now you just need to work on you and perhaps look forward to the day when you can be a more healthy participant in a healthy relationship