You are right of course, but waiting for things to pass can be a grueling time to endure and while waiting for issues to surface it can be terrifying. I am not sure why I gamble these days since my abstinence is the most important thing to keep in my mind, but other things must be bubbling underneath, making it hard for any real progress to take root. I am at the point now where I am in real jeopardy, financially, and have to start a new route to make up for all the harm that I have done. I am focusing on being resourceful and creative, financially, so that I have not done permanent damage. It takes a lot of my thoughts and energy these days and that is good because the feeling of success and the actual success are something that I can hold on to and use to lift myself up. I sometimes feel that, because I had struggled all of my life to beat the odds and be in a place that was comfortable and moderately successful, I created a circumstance wherein I had to start over again to give myself purpose. I’m not sure if that is the underlying cause of all of my issues, but I am here now, in that circumstance, and am in full gear getting myself out. I hope that you are well and I will keep posting.
