Dark energy –
I read all your journals man one thing I want to say you are king in my heart a person who go through this level of endurance will definitely excel Soon it’s just a matter of time ,
I relapsed 3 times and I blew 100k$ in total living in a different country like you at the ago 30 .
30 k before marriage . I know numbers don’t mean any thing it’s the pain that counts we all go through that .
What I learned in 2years 7 Months gambling free
1) we all are financially illiterate
2) even if we win all the money we don’t know what to do an we will eventually blew it off
3)money will not solve our issues
4)what are we even fighting for ????
5) What we are struggling is a mental health not financial health
I will mention few things that helped me stay clean 2.7 years
1) keep my self occupied, started deleviring pizzas for 5$ tip from placing 5k per hand bet
I know it sounds silly but I have been doing that 5 hours every day since 2.7 years no looking back my friend
Having zero time to think will keep you going , you can be in this forum and dwell in the past how ever long we want or do something very easy
It’s not about the money the satisfaction I gathered in these days are immense .
My only advise to you is make your self accupied doing something doesn’t matter you like it or not if it is generating pennys as well it will cherish you trust me .
I still belive you will over come all this just give it time .