[asdfghost]

I’m very close now to the conditions I was back then, at the time I seriously considered suicide. I don’t want to think about it. I want to threw these goddamn thoughts away. They are awful and unreasonable. Nobody including me would ever benefit from that. This addiction has been killing me mentally for so long, and I need to cut it off me. But I can’t. What to do? I don’t know. It’s fucking impossible. It’s no use. I have no escape ways. I’m done.