Hey P – congratulations! Congratulations because not knowing who we are might be a good thing. As a very recent recovering CG, I know it is for me. Uncertainty means I’m ready to re-examine my “self” as I am today without the unproductive thoughts, activities, and judgments that used to occupy my time and space (when I was gambling).
I read a quote today that I thought was a good one:
“The greatest remedy in the world is change; and change implies the passing from the old to the new. It is also the only path that leads from the lesser to the greater, from the dream to the reality, from the wish to the heart’s desire fulfilled. It is change that brings us everything we want. It is the opposite of change that holds us back from that which we want. But change is not always external. Real change, or rather the cause of all change, is always internal. It is the change in the within that first produces the change in the without. To go from place to place is not a change unless it produces a change of mind—a renewal of mind. It is the change of mind that is the change desired. It is the renewal of mind that produces better health, more happiness, greater power, the increase of life, and the consequent increase of all that is good in life. And the constant renewal of mind—the daily change of mind—is possible regardless of times, circumstances or places. He who can change his mind every day and think the new about everything every day, will always be well; he will always have happiness; he will always be free; his life will always be interesting; he will constantly move forward into the larger, the richer and the better; and whatever is needed for his welfare today, of that he shall surely have abundance.” (Christine D Larson)
I’m about two months free from gambling and the fact that I get a re-do of my life is pretty liberating. Also scary. It’s kind of kick to discover what makes me want to wake up in the morning every day now. It’s the simple pleasures like taking a walk outside on the beach, reading a book or eating a healthy meal that I look forward to. I’m feeling grateful today for another chance to be the person I want to be.