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      I hit rock bottom five months ago on August 6, 2010 when I lost the best job I ever had – a direct result from compulsive gambling.  Those early weeks I really had a hard time – not believing that anyone could have had a bigger gambling compulsion than myself.  I lost my house, my car, basically my life in many ways and ended up having to move to Phoenix and move in with my parents in hopes of getting a job and starting all over again. 
      In the five months that I have been clean from gambling – I have never felt more myself and happy even though so much is far from being good.  I do know that those of you who don’t think that there is hope – there is hope and happiness to be found without gambling.  I am grateful that I attended 3-4 meetings a week and by doing so how I was able to lean on so many people who totally got this disease.  I finally was around people like me who had this horrible addiction.  I continue to come to this site and read many posts to help others just starting on this journey.  I continue to be proud of myself for really coming to terms with this addiction and being completely honest of the addiction I had and reaching out to others.  If somone is reading this and you are just new to this site, write me and let me know how you are feeling.  It is not hopeless and all of the feelings that you are going through are normal and I went through every single one of them.
      Be kind to yourself and believe that you can do this – but get to meetings and go to as many as you can – truly surround yourself with people who get it!  I wish you all god speed in your recovery and the successes of ridding this from our lives.
      colleenp51There is nothing that has been done that cannot be undone if you believe you can do it!

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