Day 101
Thank you so much for the messages of support there CraigMac and Dark Energy.
So passed the 100 day mark. A bit of a milestone but guarding against any complacency.
I feel drained and tired but by getting myself in better routines again hopefully my energy will return.
Every day is a new day. To do more positive things, not fall into the old traps.
Some points I would like to make though. If I can do 100 days then anyone can. So keep going all. From a pit of despair I am slowly rebuilding things. I am not going back to where I was. I can do that if I don”t gamble.
If I can do 100 days I can do another 100 days and so on.
Whilst I will always need to take every day in turn, each day I need to keep my guard up. Setting things to work towards will help me.
Shorter term goals are fully concentrating on the relationships in my life. Rebuilding my finances by saving money by being more frugal. Eating healthy, giving up smoking, drinking alcohol in real moderation. Developing a much wider range of interests to occupy myself. Not to divert my obsessions into just one thing, because what happens if I get bored of that, or have to stop doing it? Not to be so hard on myself, sometimes life doesn’t pan out as we would like, sometimes things aren’t perfect. I need to let some things go. Not react negatively – gambling, drinking, smoking!
Maybe in a year or so those things I can be more confident with. Confident but not complacent, to have a good balance in my life.
Longer term I want to look back and say what happened was the real motivation to sort my behaviours and attitude to life out. The motivation to seek inner peace and happiness. I don’t know when and if that will come but that is what I strive for now.
I feel now that the path I was walking is a wider track. I have more confidence to follow it. It is going in the right direction. I am not leaving this track now and I am not going to look back so much. I am going to seek support at times, I am not doing it all on my own.
It is going to be a long journey but I believe it is ACHIEVABLE, it is REALISTIC for me to do this.
Best wishes all, day by day, be strong, be positive,
There is a story about 2 wolves that are inside us, a good and an evil wolf, there is a fight, the wolf that wins is the one we feed.
