Day 73
Feel good that I managed to get through the Epsom Derby weekend gamble free. I was tempted for sure and found myself on my phone flicking through sports pages. I stayed strong and found other things to do.
Sometimes I still find myself staring into space thinking what have I done, how did I manage to be so stupid?
Thoughts still torment me that I should be so much better off if I had never gambled.
Bottom line is that gambling had a big hold on me. A hold I couldn’t break without help.
I gambled when I looked for excitement, when I felt low, when something had happened that wound me up.
Now I need to deal with those times in a better way. Do things that make me feel better. Do more things for others, go for a walk, do exercise, learn something new, meet or phone someone, post on here, feel good about gamble free days. Learn to just have a bit of time to relax away from distractions. I need to be less hard on myself at times.
To be fully aware, always, my thoughts about gambling are the start of a slippery slope.
Finally learn that gambling is not an answer to anything. It doesn’t help, it only makes things even worse.
I feel I have 2 clear choices:
1. Continue gambling, waste more money and time, have a poor state of mind.
2. Stay away from gambling, rebuild myself and my finances. Have a better state of mind and be the best version of myself.
I will take choice 2. Good luck if you read my post, take care of yourself.
