I have always dreamed of the ho-hum, the ordinary, the ‘normal’…and now i have it, i dont quite know what to do with it. You are right Meg, i did think that there would be some never ending party going on! Ive changed my life, ive worked damn hard to do it, so where are those fireworks? Somehow, ironing just doesnt cut it (although i did get it done, hope that gives you some inspiration V!) Is this what my life was like before i had a gambling addiction? I dont remember, it was that long ago. BUT, in saying all that, i have to say that my life is wonderful, i wouldnt go so far as to say peaceful, but im working towards that goal. Im still not good at stopping and smelling the roses, i am still in the mindset that something is going to happen, what, i dont know!
All i can do is not gamble, i need to learn to just let life be life and take the good with the bad. I am going up to the school today, Bailey is having swimming lessons so we are going to walk up to the pool and watch him. I used to dread things like that, it took away from my gambling and in a way i still feel that way. Its almost like in my head im saying, bugger, i have a commitment and id rather be anywhere but there. Its not that i dont want to go, but i always feel that there is something better just around the corner. Does that make sense?
I am working tonight, one more shift and im off for 4 days. I have a lot to look forward to, my trip with Brea to Sydney, her graduation, my holidays (cant wait for that one!).
I am no longer gambling, and im so grateful for that.
Take care, bye for now, Kathryn xx Life is about falling….living is about getting up!