Hi Lavende,
You have mentioned suicidal thoughts so the first thing i am going to do is give you this link. https://www.befrienders.org/
If you have those thoughts then there is always someone you can talk to there.
There is a saying that is very true – suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. There is a lot of life after gambling I promise you.
It sounds like you have presented this problem to your husband/family in the past. This time you won’t just be presenting the problem; you can be showing what you are going to DO about it, there is a big difference.
Gambling won’t solvce your problems, it has caused them. Play the tape forward – IF you won then even that wouldn’t solve your problems; it is an addiction and you would just dig the hole again, deper this time because addiction is progressive.
When it comes to your debys, I don’t know what the HR is? Something local to you I am sure.
There are a lot of options around these days when it coees to the finances – from repayment plans through to bankruptcy. Speak to the people you have borrowed from, most importantly they need to know not to lend you any more funds.
You know you can stop gambling, you have done it before. The important thing this time is to keep using support to maintain recovery. We are never “cured” but we can all choose to not act on our addiction and have a great gamble free life.
Keep posting, keep using the support you ahve both here and elsewhere.
Again, there is a lot of life after gambling.