Day 1. Still couldn’t get a good sleep last night as I kept replaying what happened over the weekend and how I couldn’t stop myself. I don’t think I’m going to be able to forget the win and the loss. I keep looking at my bank account and wishing it didn’t play out as it did. I wish I was able to walk away with the massive jackpot win and see that amount in my bank account and feel happy. It’s going to take me at least 5 years to save up that amount that I had won. I was in a bad emotional state last night and called my-ex to come over and I told him everything. He couldn’t believe that I had not only won such a life-changing amount, but couldn’t understand how I lost it all. I don’t either. I have an initial consultation later today with a psychotherapist that I hope will be able to help. It seems hard to find someone who specializes in gambling addiction. I also plan to join in a group chat later tonight that’s with a counsellor. One day at a time.
