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“Do not put yourself in a dangerous situation.”

I am comfortable but it was more important to be safe. I have both at home now.
5mins ago, I was comfortable but I was not safe.

I have grown, I have learned to journal using notepad on my mobile phone anytime, anywhere. I was journaling on the notepad at the neighborhood coffeehouse. Journaling helps me to reflect on my surrounding and life, it helps me to adapt to changes.

I was seated comfortably; I had my favorite hot coffee after dinner. I look around me, I scanned my surrounding. I can feel something is missing, I cannot feel the peace, untroubled and calm.

Discontentment is sneaky, it is alive and brewing inside me tonight.

Normally I can find the serene and good feeling in the sun, wind, and sight of trees and flowers.

It was 10 pm, I asked, what was so different tonight?

It was dark, I cannot see the trees and flowers in the night, there was no warmth from the sun. This was an example of things changing every single day; daylight turning into darkness. It can affect my thought and feeling. I could not find the same serene and calm feeling outside me or from the environment.

I had to put my sight on a power greater then me; I need to focus on a Higher Power. I need to find the peace and calm feeling inside. I must not lose my gratitude and thankfulness. I need to connect to my Higher Power and remember that my Higher Power is enough. I do not need to look for good feeling in other places like gambling, alcohol, drug, food, eating and sex.

I was well rested after a good long sleep. I have just finished dinner; I had my favorite hot coffee.
It was not enough, I wanted more.

Today was my off day. I had free time; I was not broke; gambling and entertainment outlets are open 24/7. My barrier works on most day but not every day. Today is one of those day.

However, when I journal and put everything down in words, I can see the picture clearer. Journaling helps me to make the correct choice. I can choose to stay away from darkness and danger. I can choose to follow the light and safety.

I only need to keep myself safe today.
Tomorrow, I do the same.
One day at a time.

  • This reply was modified 1 month ago by kin.
  • This reply was modified 1 month ago by kin.