I said it was a trigger, I knew it was a trigger and I let it trigger me last night. I have been reading other posts and have decided that I am angry now. I am no longer sad, upset or disappointed with the situation. I am angry. I didnt even make dinner for my daughter when she came home late last night from work because I was too “busy and tired” to get up off my ass. I am losing what I call life. I am not able to do things because I am burdened with this hunk of crap that pollutes my brain and fogs up my mind. I am going to think of gambling as a hunk of crap in my head that is growing every time I gamble. It will shrink if I abstain and so every time I even think about it, it gets stronger. I know I was triggered by the smallest thing yesterday, it was a treasure chest in an online zen matching game that reminded me of one on one of my favorite slots. I recognized it right away because it made me want to play. I thought about it and it made it stronger. I dont give the triggers the importance that I should and I need to be extra diligent when I realize that something had triggered in my brain. When the hunk of crap in my brain is shrinking it is fighting back and trying to get me to.play.I need to fight back as well. I am finished with being disappointed. Now I am fighting back!!!
