Divorce ... Maybe
My husband is a gambling addict. We have two children 8 and 15 months. He has gambled 15+ years. What started his gambling at 17 years old was what I believe to be loneliness and a really really dysfunctional family (learning more everyday which is mental).
Throughout our time together we have had ups and downs, make ups and break ups, all of which were related to gambling in some way.
My husband is in the Army, and last year after our second child was born I decided to move home, as my husbands intention was to eventually leave the Army and we can settle into a 'normal' life. The last time I saw him was 28 Feb after a lovely weekend home together. He left on the Sunday and neither the kids or I have seen him.
As a few days after he returned to his base he started gambling again, and everything naturally went down hill. Weeks of vicious emails/texts/fb msgs back and forth to eachother, until I find out he is sitting on a plane on his way to Afghanistan.
I knew he was due a tour, had no idea when though. So it has been almost 3 months since we have seen him, and very rare communication. He is overdrawn on credit cards, been trying to get out more payday loans. Just the standard stuff along with his gambling.
He says he wants a divorce as if it is my fault we are where we are. Shouldn't I be the one threatening divorce? He refuses to talk to me, and won't return to the UK until October. I spend EVERYDAY and NIGHT thinking about him.
Anger at what he's doing, sadness at his illness, happiness from all the good times. I smile and cry in the same breathe.
I am an absolute mess pretty much all the time. Everything I read talks about the gambler hitting their 'Rock Bottom'. I'm pretty sure I am at mine.
My grandmother is on her way out.
My grandfathers dementia is getting worse.
My fridge packed in the other day, baby drinking milk still, nightmare.
Washing machine leaked twice, water everywhere.
I hate my job.
My mother is having a nervous breakdown because of her parents.
Work full time with two kids.
Childcare and summer holidays coming up, expensive.
My car was just serviced and mot'd, over £1000 spent so far.
I need my husband, I need my best friend. But he wants a divorce, he hates me, he's miles away and I have not done anything but love and support him.
Emotional mess. How can I cope with everything without losing the plot any more than I already have.