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Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our
privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

Your predicament sounds not to dissimilar to my own. I gambled away my entire life savings I was banking on using for a house. I too haven’t been able to tell my family or my partner. Talking to people on here helps and I can happily say I’ve been gamble free for just over a year now. Something I can’t say I’ve been since I was about 13. All I can say is, listen to the advice of the people on here. Stay strong. You’re better than any addiction. Each passing day will make you more confidant you can beat this. Take care of yourself and your finances will do the same.

Hi Ray,

Sorry to hear about you losing all of your savings. Unfortunately this is the typical end result of a gambling addiction. We inevitably hig rock bottom before we can stop and actually think about the full extent of the financial, psychlogical, and physical damage we have done to ourselves. How much we’ve sacrificed our time and energy, destroying our relationships with our family, friends and partners. Underperforming at our jobs. The problem isn’t that you lose money, the problem is that you can’t stop gambling until it’s all gone.

You need to accept these losses and realize that gambling is futile and will only get you deeper into the hole should you continue. The addiction does not discriminate. I was similar to you, a good education, a good job, healthy savings, a loving partner and even have a mortgage for an upper class apartment. I only gambled recreationally prior to my 3 months meltdown of online/casino blackjack, where I had losing swings of up to 40k in one night (and winning ones too, but these are just as bad as they reinforce your addicted brain that you can win back your losses). I was confident I would not become one of these “degenerates” that somehow my intelligence and good upbringing shielded me from being a big time gambling loser. I was wrong. A gambling addiction can affect anyone, and is so strong that any logic you have is thrown out the window when you play. You lose your sense of money, take irrational risks and compulsively chase losses with ZERO control when gambling. That’s what the addiction does. It will trick your into thinking you can control it, that you can play small or just walk away with a small loss. That you’re smarter than that. It’s all just your addiction convincing you its ok to gamble. Truth is, for people like us, we simply cannot gamble AT ALL. We cannot control ourselves. You need let go of your pride and accept that you are powerless to this addiction. You can beat it but it will be the toughest battle of your life and it WILL BE A LIFELONG BATTLE. You need all the help you can get. Tell a partner/friend/family member. Otherwise go to GA. Most importantly, self-exclude from ALL land and online casinos you have access to and install a gambling blocker asap. I assure you that the chances of you gambling again is VERY HIGH, especially in your current state. You are still in the denial stage. Exclusion is paramount at this point (and recommended permanently). You must actively take action to stop yourself from gambling. The urges will feel unstoppable. You may relapse but don’t let that phase you. Do whatever it takes to overcome this and you can reclaim your old life back. What we lose most from gambling is not the money itself but we lose our former selfs. We become something else which we are not proud of.

You have not hit rock bottom yet. A long term gambler who struggled with addiction once told me: “just when you thought you couldn’t go any lower, a gambling addiction can bring you a new low that you didn’t even know could exist.” The next step is to take out loans and gamble that away. Then begging/borrowing/stealing money to fund your addiction. The pit really is bottomless. If you continue you will lose your family, friends, partner and job. Most importantly, you will lose your sanity and everything good about who you are. True rock bottom awaits should you keep chasing your losses. Stop now before it’s too late.

I wish you the best in recovering from this.

I have taken a loan out to clear a car finance on a better rate. Suddenly thought I was rich. Lost 3/4 of it in3 months – suicidal (considered) running away (considered). Best advice I have read on here is to take each day as it comes. You feel like this at this moment in time. You will be in work for over 40 years earning a staggering amount of money – I earn £26,000 per year after tax, pension etc. x that by 40 years and its more than 1 million – put that into context with what you’ve lost – money will come and go. make sure you have food, a home (you don’t have to own one) and you have a hobby that keeps you busy or that you enjoy – excercise based is the best. It feels horrific, trust me I know…I am 4 days into hitting rock bottom and I am £16,000 in debt from gambling – I am recently married and my partner knows nothing. What has made me realist that if I continue – I will lose it all and not the money but her, my family and everything. With every day that passes you’ll feel better. Come on here and post – I’ll help if you need to talk.
Stay strong

love this advice

Hi Ray,

Well hopefully you’ve learnt that quitting gambling isn’t as simple as “ok I promise I will stop now.” Yes at that moment you feel 100% confident that you’ll stop but we know time will always tell an entirely different story. It starts with boredom or a stressful event and your addiction will tell you it’s ok to just play a little bit “for fun” and even set a time/loss limit for your session. This is just the trap to get you started back on that rollercoaster that digs your hole just that little bit deeper each time you go for another ride. We all know this inside ourselves yet we trick ourselves into thinking we are in control every time. Ray, you MUST self-exclude (especially if you are not handing your finances to someone else for control). You are in a very dark place right now and I get it, it’s living hell down there. You’ll feel physically and emotionally sick from the big loss (huge losses over small times are very psychologically damaging) and you need to grieve this loss. Not just the loss of your savings but the loss of your former self that you are proud of.

Time will make things easier but your primary concern should be preventing yourself from all triggers or ways to access gambling. Keep posting here and we’ll be here to support you along you way but ultimately this is a battle only you can win by your own efforts.

Hey Ray sorry to hear about your relapse, but sadly to say, I am not surprised. Having gambled away so much in a short period of time and experiencing such a huge loss is immensely emotionally damaging. It essentially “rewires” your brain and you can never be the same person again after it. The good news is that you are still young (same age as me) and you have time to change for the better, to turn your life around.

The hardest part about getting over gambling is the losses you’ve incurres. It’s extremely hard to let go of. I might say that without other supports in place, it is virtually inpossible to do alone. On top of extreme willpower and a WANT to actually stop gambling, you will need two things assist you:

1) Blockers/self-exclusion: this is the most critical element – whichever online or offline casinos/bookies you use, self-exclude from all of them now. If you really want to quit you will do it. It you don’t, it means you’re not really ready to give it up and I can guarantee that you return to it (with whatever reason your addiction tricks you with) and your rock bottom will only become deeper. After countless relapses, full self-exclusion plus computer gambling blocking software got me clean for 6 months+.

2) Now this one is optional but highly recommended. That is emotional support and honesty. Gambling thrives in the dark and keeping your secrets from your partner + family will only make you feel more alone, ashamed and guilty. These thoughts alone can sometimes drive you back to relapses. Disclosure not only ensures emotional support, but also gives you the opportunity to hand over your finances to someone you trust as a further preventative measure. If you really cannot bring yourself to do it, go to GA. Stay active on these forums and post often. Read other people’s diaries and tips. Know that you are not alone in your struggles. But let me tell you, given the extent of your gambling, full disclosure is HIGHLY recommended as it will inevitably come out in the fall out.

Please be proactive about step 1 and seriously consider step 2. Not to sound harsh but if you do nothing except tell yourself you’ll stop, you will repeat the above cycle multiple times until breaking point, and everything in your life will crumble. Do not let this happen as you have many years ahead and a great career which will earn you way more than what you’ve lost recently in the long run.

Hey Ray,

Great to hear that you’ve self-excluded. That’s a great first step. Now one thing to keep in mind is that online gambling has SO many different options. If you even have an inkling that you might open up another account elsewhere, I highly recommend installing Gamblock of Betfilter (for less than $100 it probably saved me many thousands during those first few months after I installed it). I also encourage you to confide to a few people because let me tell you, those closest to you already know something isn’t quite right with you or that your behaviour is odd, they may be surprised as to the nature of what you’ve been doing but they won’t be surprised that you’re currently struggling mentally.

As for the losses, I totally get it. It’s the hardest part about staying gambling free. I was actually going to touch on it in my previous post but I didn’t want to make it too long. The thought of the losses was also the main factor which caused many of my relapses. I know it sounds cliche but time will indeed help. The first few month or so is the absolute worst. You will constantly be beating yourself on it, self-hating, replaying those nightmarish nights over and over. Thinking about why I hadn’t have stopped there or why I was so stupid not to walk away when I was up at that time. It will tear you up inside. But over time, the thoughts will become less consistent. If you just think about your life and what you still have, your health, your family, your partner and your great job. It will help to ease the pain. Now even as you get better mentally, every now and that that figure of your loss will come back like a ton of bricks, you’ll sometimes wake up in the middle of night and think about it. You’ll have moments at work where you just cannot function. It’s times like these that you need to stay strong. Trust me, the longer you can withhold yourself from gambling, the more positive things you can do in your life, the easier it will get.

Try to think of the loss as a business venture that didn’t work out. Alternatively, think of it as a life lesson to NEVER EVER touch gambling again, ever in your life. For us compulsive gamblers, that demon was always inside of us and it just needed for us to get the right exposure or to be in the right circumstances for it come out and take control of us. Learning it at a young age (and if you actually learn to fight it and to control your triggers) can be a seen as a lesson learnt that will prevent you from ruining your life at a worst time – what about when you’re married and have kids of your own? What about when your 30-40 and earning big $$$? You will have A LOT more to lose then. Money comes and goes, yes 50k is a very large sum of money, but consider this – during your life time you will earn well over $1 million dollars. As a doctor if you progress well in your career you will earn well over $2 million dollars in your life time. I know it’s not easy to think long term but dwelling on losses will simply drag you back to more relapses, and take you into a darker and darker place. The light is dim now, but if you can stop now, you can turn it around. The money is gone and it’s not coming back (through gambling). The addiction is the one that’s telling you to keep trying. I know, we gamblers don’t want to give up, we want to recoup our losses now. Well the reality is that’s not going to happen. Science has found that once we ACCEPT our reality, no matter how dire, we can deal with it mentally much better. So you must accept your losses and move on. There’s no easy way around it. I wish you the best of luck.

I know exactly how you feel about the monetary loss, Ray . They say money is not the issue but it sure was/is for me. I found it very difficult to stop chasing and let go. It will come eventually. I think we need to mourn every loss we experience in life. There is a grieving process to go through. The loss of money symbolizes all the other losses a gambler experiences. This is the tangible one, so it hurts a lot. Give yourself time, Ray. Time without gambling. Time to put things in order. Gambling will increase the chaos. The more we try to undo the damage, the greater the torture. It’s a form of self destruction. Be kind to yourself. Deep breaths! The hurt will pass. Everything passes and life goes on.
Best wishes in recovery. Gambling ruins lives.

Vera is correct, we need to grieve the loss in order to accept it. Losses incurred from gambling is extra hard to get over because it makes us feel so stupid, ashamed and guilty to have lost our money like this. Society also looks down on gamblers and even relatives find it hard to fathom why an otherwise intelligent person would do such a thing.

Ray you could get over your 15k loss because you HAD TO accept it. Insurance wasn’t going to pay you and you were never gonna be able to catch the person who stole your vehicle. The difference now is you still think that gambling can get your money back. The dream will win it all back, to get our “revenge” against gambling, to strip away all of our monetary/mental worries with that one big comeback. Unfortunately this is not how real life works. Even if you do win it back you’ll just give it all back and more. The only way to win is to not play.

Hey Ray, I totally get it. What you just described I have gone through many times I could not give you a rough estimate. All I can say is that you are not you when you gamble. You can tell yourself whatever before you start, have absolute 100% conviction that you will stop after winning/losing $X, but when you’re in the heat of the moment, your rational brain switches off and the addiction takes the driver’s seat. The addiction is one greedy bastard. If you win you want to win more. If you lose, you MUST win it back, and immediately. We all know that 90% of the time this leads to financial ruin. The actual problem is the 10% of the time we do get extremely lucky and win all our losses back. It ensures that the next time we’re in a similar situation where we’re just down a little/moderate amount, we’ll selectively look back at these rare moments and think “Oh, I’ve gotten it back before by chasing, I can do it again.” Yes sometimes you’ll get lucky and retrieve your losses multiple times, you count your lucky stars and feel relieved, like you are the luckiest person in the world. But what do we do? Definitely not what a sensible person would do (never play again). We go ahead and decided to play with fire again. The addiction is not to win, but to play. Whether we’re losing or winning, we just want to play more. The casino has unlimited money, we only have our savings/maximum credit limits. No matter how much we swing up or down, if we keep playing, we’ll hit rock bottom. Unfortunately, almost every compulsive gambler stops when they do hit rock bottom. It’s impossibly hard to stop and have a clear head until you lose it all. We’re like that aren’t we…it’s either all or nothing. Nope, I rather win back my 20k then call it quits at 15k. I’ll risk have $0 or even going into debt to make sure I get back all my losses. It’s insane when you look back on it, but that was us in the moment of craze, we are not ourselves.

Like you, I’m generally considered quite an intelligent/financially astute individual by most of my friends and work colleagues, and they’d hardly believe me if I told them of the struggles I’ve had with this horrible gambling addiction. For me personally, I have not confided with my parents or my close friends/work mates – especially my parents, as they’ve done so much for me in my life (and helped me with many financial things like with my study fees and helping with the deposit of my house – all this from saving every penny and living ridiculously frugal themselves) – I could not bear the thought of letting them down in such a way. I do not want them to worry about me like this. The only person I did confide to was my significant other, during the peak of my gambling addiction in May last year. It was possibly the hardest moment of my life, and I really did not know what was going to happen, but I got through it, and thankfully she gave me another chance and supported me in my quest for recovery. I think it was definitely a burden off my shoulder to have someone close to me know about my struggles, to know that I’m not dealing with it completely alone.

All I can say now is, you’ve got to make a judgement call. To disclose or not is a tough question and really depends on your own state of mind and your relationships with those close to you. For me personally, it is a mental battle that’s taken over a year and I’m finally starting to feel like I’m slowly getting the upper hand. I did this mostly without much support from my relatives/friends/partner. However it may be different for you. Just remember that if things are not working out well, if you experience any relapses. Don’t give up. Learn from your experience. Learn what the trigger was and think about how you can proactively avoid it next time. The more you learn about yourself and how your mind deals with gambling, it easier it will be for you to be able to “control” your addiction. Remember, there is no cure for a gambling addiction, there’s only the ability to suppress, and ultimately control it when it does strike.

Yes those moments of piercing guilt will be quite common in the early stages. But if you can put your focus on other things like setting goals in other areas of your life, this coupled with time will help you reduce those moments of sudden anguish. Eventually, the memories of those horrific moments will only serve as a reminder of why you must stop gambling.

I know you probably fear for the future but just hang in there. Know that relapses are part of the recovery process and you must learn from each one and put in extra measures to block those triggers next time. That said, never use the excuse of relapsing as a way of going back to gambling (that’s the addiction playing mind games with you), your goal is to never play again because you know that your brain is wired in a way so that you can never be just a normal, recreational gambler. Being complacent (especially after a few months of no gambling) has caught me out MANY times and I finally realize that I simply cannot even place that one bet. One bet, even years down the track can lead you back on that path to rock bottom again. Know that even if you have no cravings down, the triggers and compulsiveness will inevitably at some stage return (it’s always inside of us waiting for the right moment), you must ensure that you have the correct blocks in place (this gives you time and some critical time to think rationally) and a plan of how you will overcome those triggers. In order words, long-term preventative measures plus learning about yourself over time will lead you to recovery, but you must be patient.

I’ve been reading your posts with interest and my situation was very similar. Being up, losing, chasing losses. I’m in the very early stages of trying to sort my own situation. I had £50,000 in savings, won another £20,000 odd and it’s all gone. I now have around £20000 debt on credit cards. My family and girlfriend know I was gambling in a destructive way, but not the amount I’ve lost. I really don’t think they would understand and there’s the problem. I wish you all the best in your recovery and staying gamble free.

Hey Ray how you been the last few days?

Hi Ray, As a CG I have learned that we just have to take it one day at a time! I find that if I keep myself busy that I can usually ride out the gambling urges. A major breakthrough with me is when I confided to someone close to me that I was a CG. It was uplifting. That is not for everyone as some people can be very judge mental. It’s hard to bare your sole to someone. Keep posting. It is like journaling and very helpful to re read your posts. You have to let go of the losses and move forward. That took me awhile to do. I will be thinking of you today and sending positive thoughts. Take care.

Hey Ray,

I know it’s tough right now mentally but it’s good to see that you’ve taken some active steps to take up other hobbies and self-improving activities. The memories and reliving of those nightmarish moments will be common at this stage but the longer you stay away from gambling and engage in other healthier activities, the less common they will be become.

I’m doing alright Ray. I did also have a gambling dream a few nights though (a bad one too, I had lost big time and was stressing out big time – woke up in a panic and felt a huge relief it wasn’t real). It was a strange one too as I’d not really have gambling related dreams even at the peak of my addiction before. Luckily the dream did not translate into actual urges

Hey ray even after 6 months off my recent relapse was playing a bit of blackjack “for fun”. Nope we cannot play for fun, ever. It’s something we must accept, even if it hurts our pride, ego or limits our social interactions. The main thing is to learn from it and don’t get complacent over time. Even if you make it a year clean you cannot to back, even for one moment.

Hi Ray

I have read all your posts and have taken a lot from them, there has also been some good feed back from theone,
I just wanted to to share one bit of my past,
I am a compulsive gambler, I have been for years, and like you have found it hard to let go and wipe out the losses, the one thing I have learned from my time is, as a compulsive gambler you can never win enough,If you lose you want to win back your losses but in the same hand If you win you just want to win more, this is how this illness grabs you.

I once won £111,056 (to be precise !) out of pure luck on the national lottery, at the time this would have bought me 2 houses, and set me up for life, Instead as you can imagine I slowly dwindled the money through gambling telling myself I can play rationally and a little here or there will be alright,

The point I am trying to make is no matter how much you play with whether it be £1 or £100,000 you will still want to place that bet and you will chase the loss or the win, but in the end the ‘house’ wins and you will always lose, thankfully your not in debt and you have a good career ahead of you but if you don’t let go of that loss you could end up years down the line with a much bigger loss, isolating yourself from those who love you and the demons of that gamble taking more than just finances,
This illness has no boundaries, I have met lawyers, police officers, doctors, teachers, all who have had issues with losing the money they lost and whilst trying to win back the losses they have lost more money whilst also losing family, friends, businesses, pride and self worth, is that 40k you lost really worth losing the most dearest to you ?
By the sounds of it you are on the right course, payday is going to be a big one for you but arm yourself with as many tools as possible any would strongly advise you to tell someone close, a problem shared really is a problem halved,

Good luck and stay strong

Couldn’t have said it better myself. Tonyj has bit the nail on the head. While we may come from all walks of life this addiction affects us all in a scarily similar way. Almost no one walks away from gambling after a big win. Nor do they walk away after a loss. So why do we even play? The truth is the majority of compulsive gamblers only stop once they hit rock bottom, and by rock bottom this is often not just financial rock bottom, but the loss of everyone they love, their assets/house, their jobs, their health, and most importantly the person they were. The only way to stop this downward spiral is to give up, accept we cannot defeat gambling and come to terms with our losses (knowing that chasing will only amplify the damage) and move on towards rebuilding our lives and becoming someone we can be proud of.

Hey Ray, how you been? Hope you’ve been able to hit the 1 month mark of staying clean!!

Well done on your gamble free time Rayman. When the day comes that you do have those “small gamble” thoughts it would help if you were already banned from those remaining two casinos. Keep posting

Hey man, great to hear you’re still clean and feeling better over time. I know those feelings of guilt/regret will still be raw right now but they will fade over time. Rather use those feelings as a reminder why you should never gamble again!

Your mindset also seems solid. Just remember your last relapse and how easy it is to convince ourselves we’re better or that we can “just have a bit of fun”. For people like us it’s all or nothing there’s no such thing as “for fun”. We just need to accept we cannot gamble, EVER.

Now Charles gives good advice. Proactive action is key to your recovery. There have been many times I’ve had a gambling thought pop up and I resisted it, even many times, but eventually gave in due to leaving those gambling doors open. My strategy now is that if I ever get ANY urge to do a form of gambling, and I know a way to access that form of gambling, I will proactively self-exclude from that casino/website. It’s a great feeling taking some time now to insure your future. It helps with my recovery and makes my mind at ease. I’ve done this with over 30 websites already (create account –> self-exclude for max duration). Although I’m confident in my self-control, I’m not taking any chances. I’m literally self-excluded from 99% of all forms of online/offline gambling available in my city but if I ever get an urge to try something else that I normally don’t do (eg. Horse racing, lottery, slots, share trading) I’ll take active steps to ban myself first. If I go to a new city for a trip/holiday I’ll try to stay away from any casinos. If I ever get urges I’ll just proactively self-exclude. Despite never having any urges for certain forms of gambling in the past, who knows what the future will hold and we all know the addiction will do whatever it can to get us back in the game.

Hey Ray, just checking in on you. How you been mate?

Awful feeling, Rayman!
I’ve been there too often.
When the initial shock wears off you will feel less numb.
Then you can set out a New Plan.
Back to the drawing board.
The alternative is to continue gambling and we all know where that leads.
Keep taking baby steps until you become more steady.

Hi Rayman,

You might not feel like talking about things right now but now is exactly the time to take action.

I’ve just skimmed down this thread, did you get excluded from those remaining casinos? Will you get excluded from where you have been gambling now? I also see that your previous relapses involved quite a lot of money; what financial barriers can you put in place? Who could hold your money for you and make you accountable for it?

How about those GA meetings that someone has mentioned?

Yes, I know your hurting. So what things can you start putting in place now so that you are less likely to repeat that pain?

It is a progressive problem so in reality the choice you have to make is whether you take some of those steps now, or later when in deeper trouble.

Keep posting and I hope the answer is now.

Where do I start? First off I know exactly how you feel and I am very sorry you are going through this. I don’t understand why anyone has to struggle with this horrible addiction. I wIll give you a little history…. like everyone else on this thread I am am intelligent individual who got caught up horrible gambling addiction . I am 45 years old and have been gambling ever since I can remember. It started to get bad around your age. Here I am almost 20 years later still battling this addiction. I have no debt however I lost well over 1.7 mil., my time, my insanity. The longest I made it without gambling is 9 months. Every time I fail I get back up again brush off my knees and start over. Actually I am just coming out of the fog of my last screw up. A month ago I swore I would never gamble again and I did 5 days ago. Its almost comical what i did. I went to casino with only 2.00 in my pocket only to play my 120..00 “free slot play”. When the free money was gone I left with 720.00. Went back 3 days later to play another free slot play (only took 2.00) had 140.00 lost it. Went to car to get bank card, went home to get money, borrowed money the next day. I somehow managed to loose over 5,000. On tables, slots you name it. The point is we will never be in control, we will never win. We will get past this. The question is….. Do we want to put ourselves through this again???? I banned myself, I am going back to meetings, seeing a therapist and giving away control of my money. I just can not do this anymore. The good news for you. You are still young, you are smart and have a lot of things going for you. I promise you will feel better in time. PLease do not end up like me, and wasting years of your life. I would give anything to go back to your age and get this addiction under control and have those years back. I will be thinking and praying for you.

and so the disease will progress, Ray, until it sucks every penny out of you along with your heart and soul Its a progressive disease I am living proof of that!
Draw a line under this awful experience.
Don’t chase it or you will be adding a couple of zeros to that 3500
You need to make serious arrangements to have someone handle your money
Stay close to this site for now
Things WILL improve odaat

Hello, I’m from the Phils, married but separated. This addiction has cost me about Php1M ($22K) and I’m currently credit card indebted for about $10K. I’m still currently employed with a still a little bit of savings believe it or not. I have tried stopping for about a month and then played 7 weekends straight recently and lost everytime I went back maybe around $3K. I have not told anyone about this not even my family, my current status have given me a lot of free time hence this addiction. I am not sure if I can kick this habit off completely but I can already feel it’s affecting my work and losing ambition. Can someone give me advise on how to proceed with the first steps to recovery?

Thanks
Pinoy Addict

Rayman after many years I finally stopped and have stayed stopped!
First advice I wud give is get real live help now! Online we help each other feel less bad abour our slips! U need to draft in soMeone who loves u and get them to control ur money! Yes it is difficult to admit that u have a weakness but evenrtually this will destroy u if u don’t control it!
A little pain and embarressment now will prevent years if hell and possible eventual ruin!

I used online support for years and had no success !
U are intelligent and wise enough to withstand a small storM now! If u have parents draft them in to help. U cud buy them a very holiday xmas if u do and still have More money left than if u struggle alone!
Do it now! Get real help!! The sooner u do the sooner this nitemare stops!!

Hey Ray,

Times are tough but just try to hang in there. This addiction will be the hardest thing you will ever have to overcome in your life.

I think you definitely need some additional measures in place to prevent a 3rd relapse.

Those casinos/online casinos you still have access to. Why have you not self-excluded from them?! The addiction will try to convince you in many ways you don’t need to do it but if you are serious about overcoming this soul-destroying affliction, you need to take proactive action now! If you leave any avenues open you only leave yourself to blame for any future relapses!

On top of this, seek additional emotional support. It may be wise to confide to your parents or partner at this time. Like you said the addiction has your physically and mentally on the brink and you’ll need all the support you can get. You may also want to look into professional help or attending GA. Having someone take over your finances in the mean time will also help a lot. Please take some extra steps to put a stop to these nightmare episodes that will only keep repeating themselves over and over if you don’t take action now.

Remember…it’s all about perspective. There’s people in lots of debt with much less support and financial stability than you (eg. You have a good job). Think about all the good thinga you still have. Health, family, career, youth and relationships. Don’t take these for granted as the addiction can very quickly take all of these away from you. True rock bottom awaits if you continue on this path…start turning around your life today by stopping gambling forever.

Welcome here. In order to get replies for yourself with support specifically for you, please start your own separate thread. When you are on the Forum/My Journal page, find the New Topic bit and click there. Then you can start your own thread – if your posts are on someone else’s thread (as they are here) they tend to get lost.
Best wishes,
Monique

Hey Ray just checking on how you are going.

This is terrible, this story.

Peace be with you.

Hi Ray. I have had similar types of experiences to you. However my frailties lie in online gambling. I have no problem walking past betting shops with no urgency to go in. I have gambling debts, but have never missed a bill payment or rent. I am thankfull that I never put myself in that sort of situation. You need to remember how it feels when u gamble and how disgusted you will be with urself. Not placing that first bet is the key. The longer you stay away the easier it will get. Wishing u all the best on your journey.