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Hi,
First of all I’m so glad I’ve found this forum, for some reason knowing that there is somone out there in a worse position than me makes me feel slightly better.
It all started around 4 years ago when I was 18, one of my friends use to go into william hill and have a spin on the roulette. I watched him put £5 in and win £50. At this point I was amazed I thought how can it be this easy to make £50?!
I tried my luck on the machine and lost, I left it then a few days later I went in with £3 and won £90. I was over the moon.
Gradually I started returning to the bookies more frequently and stakes raised from a couple of pubs to £20 to £40 then to £100 . Before I knew it I would be putting £300 a day in then leaving it a few days then I’d win a few hundred back then blow it all and continued this for a few year. In this period I was loosing money but still leaving myself with enough to live on. This continued for around 3 years.
About 2 year ago I managed to secure a job in car sales earning around 3-4k per month. I managed to save up around 12K
I stopped for around 6 month after partner of 3 years said she would leave me if it carried on.
Around 2 month ago I went in again with a couple of hundred just for abit of fun, this was the worst thing I could of done. I won £1000 which instantly got me hooked.
Like most gamblers I left the bookies on a high, I decided to book a nice holiday away for 2 weeks. I didn’t pay for all of the holiday just the deposit of £400 as the holiday was £1200.
Later that week I returned to the bookies and lost around £1800. I kept telling myself I’ve only lost £800 of my own money which is my way of justifying the loss I suppose. I went home and sat there miserable. Thinking if only my number 8 had come out I would of been up… I decided to sign up online -linking the roulette straight to my bank BIG MISTAKE. I started off with a £200 spin which I lost, then I was doing £500 spins and the bottom line is I lost everything I had I my bank, did 3k on my credit card and even used my overdraft at this point I had lost around £15,000 in one night I was devastated. Everything I had worked fo, saved up GONE and I owed 3,000 on my credit card. I decided to get a bank loan of £7500 and continued to gamble despite telling myself I wouldn’t and lost a further 2k. I feel as though I have hit rock bottom. I told girlfriend what I had done and she left me, understandably. I have tried stopping about 50 times and failed everytime. This really is my last chance to sort everything out before everything spirals out of control. I’ve never gambled with stakes as big as this before and feel such an idiot. I wish I could go back in time but I can’t.Thank you for taking the time to read this and I will continue to update my journey to hopefully recover
Rich
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Hi Rich you have come to the right place we are all compulsive gamblers on here and you are not alone, we all have our own different stories but ultimately there is only one root cause. Keep posting and use the advice line , it may be a long journey on your recovery but it will be a worthwhile one , Micky.
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Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums
Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
And on that note….
I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
Take care
The Gambling Therapy Team
PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our
privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!
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Well done Richard!
You have taken the first and most difficult step in admitting you have a problem. It takes a lot of courage to do that.
One thing I have learned about gambling is that Recovery will not come to us. We have to look for it.
Now that you have found this site the World can be your oyster.
What they give us here , is a “bag of tools” which we can use to our advantage, with lots of help and support or we can throw them to one side and do it our own way.
Initially, I thought I could do it my way but I failed miserably hundreds of times so my advice would be to try to stay clean from the getgo. I would recommend the Thursday/Friday groups to you . And every other group that’s listed on the Forum. The facilitators know the ropes, Richard, so no hope of fooling them. I tried that too!
Anyway, best wishes for a G free future.
You have lots of time to start over again.
You don’t want to be looking back when you’re my age saying “if only, if only!”
CGs never win! -
Your young enough to put this all behind you
good luck with your recovery.
But remember you can never ever start again I stopped for over twenty years.
But when I started again, I was worse then I was in my youth.
the money is gone just keep telling your self there is no way I can win it back. -
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Hi Richard
Well done on coming here. I am on day 126 of not gambling and slowly I feel the beginnings of recovery. I could not have done it without this site and GA. I URGE you to consider GA. There are meetings all over the country. They will understand you, advise you, be friends with you. I go to 3 meetings a week in 3 cities. Derby, Stoke and London. I am 42 and back living with my parents as my wife and I have no split up but I come to London once a week for 3-4 days to see my young son. He means the world to me. If ever I get gambling thoughts I think of losing him forever. And that will happen.
I wish you the best, keep posting, block your accounts, get somsone to hold and manage your finances, self eclude. DO everything youc sn to put distance between you and an urge to gamble. If you make it hard to gamble you will find the urge passes and you are back incontrol.
Good luck mate, stick around.
Mav
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Urges/cravings/thoughts come and go, Richard.
In my experience, when I have no means or opportunity to gamble, I am less likely to feel the the need to go to the casino. I keep my current account empty ( no problem doing that- sic)in case I get any brain waves to deposit online.
Time heals but this is an unpredictable addiction. Awareness of every thought keeps you from acting irrationally.
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