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  • in reply to: Escaping the fog and keeping the light on #163679
    i won a new life
    Participant

    So yes I did relapse again. Had to come clean and get help again.
    Gave up control of finances. Have been about 9 months gamble free.
    Getting gambling addiction counselling.
    Still have to pay off past debts but life is better gamble free.
    One day at a time.

    in reply to: Escaping the fog and keeping the light on #77451
    i won a new life
    Participant

    6 weeks gamble free.
    Was it easy? No.
    As long as I had access to money I continued to gamble.
    I would not stop and I was blinded by my addiction.

    The first few weeks were filled with anxiety and depression.
    Most of the time I miss the action of gambling and the escape it gave me from reality.
    My financial situation is slowly starting to recover.

    I gave up access to my finances this holds me accountable for my actions.
    I am getting one on one counseling to help me understand what an addiction to gambling is
    how it is triggered by my ego and coping with my emotions.

    One day at a time.

    in reply to: Escaping the fog and keeping the light on #77270
    i won a new life
    Participant

    Reality is good.
    I’m out on good behavior and plan to keep it that way.
    One Day At A Time

    in reply to: Escaping the fog and keeping the light on #77219
    i won a new life
    Participant

    Hi Kin, yes all is well as it can be.
    The fog has cleared but reality has set in.
    I’ve been a bit depressed but I am hopeful for the future.
    One day at a time

    in reply to: Escaping the fog and keeping the light on #76894
    i won a new life
    Participant

    My story and my success.
    I have been gamble free for 2 weeks.

    How did I do it?

    1. Barriers- No access to money.
    No access to gambling.
    Keeping busy with non gambling activities.

    Why gambling doesn’t work.
    You will not win with gambling due to the house edge.
    Yes you can be lucky in the short term but over time
    if you continue to gamble it will be a loss.

    I have multiple times had 5 figure scores in one night.
    Every time I was powerless, a compulsive gambler with money
    is like a kid in a candy store. The money gets lost back faster
    and by this point might as well be a tokens in a game
    you will stop when at zero.

    My attitude has improved. I am being held accountable for
    my actions and have my finances being handled for me.

    If you are a gambler looking for help this is what it takes.
    You need to be honest with your family and you can get the help you need.
    If you don’t have access to money you can’t lose it.

    One day at a time.

    in reply to: Escaping the fog and keeping the light on #76484
    i won a new life
    Participant

    If nothing changes then nothing changes.
    I reached my all time low and decided I needed to make a change.
    I thought about suicide but I can not do that.

    All I had to do was ask for help.
    I admitted I had a problem and now I am getting the help I needed.
    This means there is a long road ahead but now I have a plan
    and I wont have the added stress that gambling causes.

    In my mind this was the toughest decision I ever had to make
    like I was giving up my chance at financial freedom.
    Now I can see the opposite is true I will now have the freedom I deserve.

    One day at a time

    i won a new life
    Participant

    I read your recent posts Murr and I am with you brother.
    This is not easy I finally gave up control of my finances,
    didn’t have a choice. Things will get better in time.
    Keep up the good fight.

    in reply to: Escaping the fog and keeping the light on #75647
    i won a new life
    Participant

    I have continued to gamble.
    I got on a lucky run which enabled me binge for a while.
    Feeling invincible I have now went broke again.
    I’m ok, need to turn things around one day at a time.

    in reply to: Escaping the fog and keeping the light on #69074
    i won a new life
    Participant

    I have daily temptations to gamble. Think of how I can gamble, where to get money to gamble and type of gambling I want to do.
    n
    nThis happens multiple times a day. First I distract myself and keep busy doing something else. After sometime the urge or temptation slowly goes away. After all I now know I want to stop gambling or at least losing.
    n
    nI have no access to money if I did I could lose it all quickly.
    nWhen I get paid, I pay my bills and take the rest in cash, carry a small amount for daily expenses and give the rest to a trusted person to hold for me.
    n
    nIf I leave myself vulnerable to my addiction it will have devastating consequences. I picture my family, It harms me and it harms them. There is no reason to live this way, life is good and I continue on the path to freedom one day at a time.

    in reply to: Escaping the fog and keeping the light on #69063
    i won a new life
    Participant

    Understanding my emotions, ego and my triggers to gamble is important for me to stay on the path to recovery.
    n
    nMy last trigger was boredom and loneliness plus the devil on my shoulder telling me I would win.
    n
    nBoredom needs to be replaced with other activities if nothing else just going out for a walk or exercising this is also a healthy way to cope and relive stress.
    n
    nStress is also a trigger after committing financial suicide. The financial stress is very real and can cause intense urges to gamble as I was seeing gambling the only way to fix my financial problems. The financial problems that were caused by gambling. This has only made things worse digging the hole deeper the cycle continued. Being caught in the vortex or sucked back into the fog where the compulsive gambling behavior is fed the mind is clouded and the path to freedom is blocked.
    n
    nAdmitting the problem and the relapse has helped me get back on track one day at a time.

    in reply to: Escaping the fog and keeping the light on #69045
    i won a new life
    Participant

    I was tempted and the urge to gamble overpowered me, I was helpless I picture lighting money on fire or flushing it down the toilet.
    n
    nA small voice inside me be it a snake, the devil, or the giddy rebellious teenage compulsive gambler. I am powerless and I almost got trapped in the fog again I need to stay on the path to freedom one day at a time.

    in reply to: Escaping the fog and keeping the light on #69035
    i won a new life
    Participant

    Yes lets do this I am posting regularly to keep my mind from fogging. It is hard right now money is tight and boredom is another trigger that I am working on I know that over time we can change our behavior to be doing more healthy things than gambling.

    in reply to: Escaping the fog and keeping the light on #69031
    i won a new life
    Participant

    On my journey on the path to freedom I meet a clever snake.
    nHe tells me he knows of a new betting strategy one that will make me money, and I won’t have to tell any one that I gamble or that I made money from it.
    n
    nThe snake is convincing I think about this and it could be a major blow to my escape from the slavery of gambling or I could just go with the snake gamble and make money.
    n
    nNow I have to make a decision. This is my trigger to gamble and will lead me to more devastation. So I decide this snake can’t just simply be ignored. I kill the snake and eat it and continue on my journey.

    in reply to: Escaping the fog and keeping the light on #69012
    i won a new life
    Participant

    As I walk the path to freedom I am distracted by a snake
    nthe snake tries to lead me off course promising fun excitement and money.
    n
    nI think about this, this is my trigger and I have been fooled before by the snake before. I decide to continue and ignore the snake.
    n
    nThere will be many snakes on my journey some more clever than this one. When I have identified my trigger or urge I will stay on the right path, the path to freedom picking up behavior coping strategies along the way.
    n
    n
    n

    in reply to: Escaping the fog and keeping the light on #69006
    i won a new life
    Participant

    My analogy of the path to freedom and escaping the slavery of gambling-
    n
    nSometimes in my life I hit rock bottoms they can get worse over time. It is during these moments I can see clearly a glimpse of where I need to go , a direction to travel, a brief break in the fog , a silver lining so to speak.
    n
    nSo now I’m on the path, I know I’m heading in the right direction but I am also well aware that this is not an easy journey. I will be challenged and tempted along the way.
    n
    nAlthough sometimes I feel I have to make this journey alone. There is help along the way, I find healthy food and water. This is amazing to me I never appreciated having a small amount of money or something to eat or drink it is humbling to enjoy the small things in life I used to take for granted.
    n
    nAs I walk the path I can not see where I am going I only know
    nit is the right direction I have to keep going this way and I wont be lost in the fog anymore. I can accept where I have been and know where I am going.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 122 total)