[Tosca]

Still exhausted. Still stuck. Nothing really new to say, I’ve come here sometimes and read some of the posts and the F&F cycle but haven’t felt able to say anything, either to help anyone else or for myself. My CG turns 30 tomorrow.

[Tosca]

Hi Hope, I’ve been away from the forum for quite a while too and am also in the same situation as you and feeling desperate. I have just been re-reading Velvet’s CG and CH cycle post and trying to gather my wits and strength. My CG is currently holed up in his bedroom playing games and avoiding the world as he has just lost yet another job. I have not had the energy to tackle him properly recently.
I think you know you are right, if all the evidence is there. I hope you are feeling better now than when you posted. I have to believe there is a way through this. One thing I try to remind myself is that if some of the things we try don’t work, it doesn’t mean we were wrong to try, or should blame ourselves. And sometimes you need to take care of yourself first and regroup and that’s fine too. x

[Tosca]

Thanks Velvet and Cathy for your comments, I do agree we have to let it play out. It’s just so stressful but all we can do is try and keep him as real as possible. x

[Tosca]

I didn’t mean to make you feel bad at all, I am finding your posts very helpful. We have a new and rather ridiculous situation developing. Our son has made an online friend in Florida, and has been saying for ages that he intended to go out there to live and work. I didn’t take this seriously, how could that possibly happen when he has no money, no job and it all seemed very airy-fairy cuckoo-land thinking. he now says that it’s all being sorted, the ticket will be paid for and he is going for 3 months, at least initially and hopes it may become permanent. His idea is that he will have a new start, a better life and not be tempted to gamble because gambling is illegal there apart from casinos, and it will be all roses and rainbows. We can’t stop him and probably shouldn’t and we are telling him he will have to stand or fail on this and not come running to us. Maybe he can make a new life but I can’t see it, he has not dealt with the real issue. He needs to get away from us and grow up but this seems very risky. If they even let him into the country.

[Tosca]

Reading it all back I feel disloyal because I understand why my husband keeps trying to help. It’s so hard not to when someone you love is hurting, and when the only thing you can constructively do is deny them what they are asking for.
I feel stronger reading the posts on here and from your advice, but I think we have a tough road ahead of us and in the past he has worn down our resolve.

[Tosca]

I am new here but have been living with a CG son for the last 14 or so years. At the moment I am gaining some benefit and insight from reading others posts, there is so much that I identify with. I have tried to start one of my own but I am floundering. Too much to say but the words won’t come. Maybe one of these days I will manage it. Anyway, please know that this F&F support is vital and appreciated. I feel lost and drowning but this is like glimpsing a life raft.

[Author]

Posts