[ell]

Hello to all my special fiends

Hello me dear and lovely velvet
I know that I haven’t written for a long time but you are always in my thoughts
You were the most special person in my life
Im doing ok . He is still free. He doesn’t have problems . He still goes to the therapist but no for the gamble just to improve himself
I think that this gamble problem is in the past .
We are together with love and with no problems . My daughter is now 4 years old and she is doing well with her health problems .
Im ok I still work very very hard many many hours but thanks god we have jobs because here in Greece people don’t have jobs we have problem with the crises and with the refugees .
Here in Greece all the people believe that we must help all the refugees that is our duty to feed them give them clothes medicines what ever they need. That is why we canont close the country . I don’t know what will happen but if you speak with the Greek people you will see that even we have our own crises we are very proud when we help (i am too). Anyway I hope that all the Europe will find a good solution for all of them and for us too.
You are always in my thoughts . I hope that you and your family is healthy and happy.
My update as you can see is a life with no gambling problems . But still have my eyes open .
But I stiil cannot forgive …I haven’t reach there yet . I don’t know why but still cant . Many times I keep wondering why that happened many why and if .
Something is keeping in the same path …I think that im stuck and in my heart I want to forgive .but i need Real forgivness. I have peace in my heart but when something happen my mind thinks the worst scenario . I think that someday I will forgive .
Thank you all for all the help you gave me . and of course thank you velvet , you are a very special woman . You helped me and you still helping me and im very thankfull to you .
My wishes to you and your family .
Thank you for every thing
Of course I will write again …..

with all my love ell

[ell]

Hello my dear friends
Hello my dear dear velvet
A little up date
Im ok . Everything goes well with my cg . He is still free, and he goes to the councelor 2 times now in a month not every week . I spoke to the councelor and he said to me : ‘ your hb is a winner and you both are winners because the feelings and the love is still here” The gambling is far now …you are both special”
My daughter still has medical issues but thanks god she is going very well .
As velvet for my brother (the person of my life) he got a divorce 2 months now . He was devastated, He passed all the feelings I had and I recognize to him all the steps . Now he is still has Unger but he is so strong he tries to stand up for the right reasons. His wife had an affair with a 55 year old man reach and my brother didn’t know anything at all and he found 2 months now he ended the marriage immediately . he has the 50% of the custody and all 100% the education custody . He is with his sons and the counselor said that he is devastated but so strong and so wise to handle the situation. But my brother and I speak truly , he is devastated because his first dream was the family . A nice real family . He was in love with his wife and of course his wife denied everything and wanted my brother buck and the affair also . Both together . Anyway the issue was the money because the other man is so so reach and she wants money. But I want to say that is was 2 difficult months because when my brother said to me : “I think I need your help to stund up…” the game started for me and all the feelings were there once again ….I recognize again the anger the lies betray everything ….
I can say v that I from all the gambling problem ia can say that if a couple devorse it is not both fault . IT IS NOT .
She had a mystic affair ……if and I say if a couple have problems they must speak and communicate the problems, if the cannot fix it they devorse with respect . when someone goes have sex with someone else with an affair it is her decision and of course her fault because she choose it . Sh could first communicate the problems and then divorce with respect and then find a new man …But she said to me that the other man has moneyyy …and here in Greece is the issue…
Anyway if you see my update you will realize that I speak for my brother , sorry for that but he is a very important person for me
I still work in the red. My hb and I we work 24 h . All the hours . You all know the crisis here but the fealing is disaster , fear , and we need anything to have hope . It is so hard with no money nothing …Please god helps us stay at Europe …..
I miss you v , and im tired for all the continuously problems…but I know that is life and I know inside me I want to feel all the feelings life has for me ..

I will write and update soon … im going to leave my employees free now to get rest because they have to vote to another area ..
With all my love
Ell

[ell]

Hello my dear friends,
With all my best wishes , Happy New year and wish health and strength.
Hello my dear and lovely velvet ,
I wish you all the best to you and your family.
Now was my 3rd Christmas , I remeber velvet that my fisrt christmas was so difficult , i was cooking for my family and noone knew what was happening in my life , i had in my pocket the serenity prayer that you gave me and some of your answers .You helped so musch . It was so so so difficult . But now christmas was so woderful with my hb and my daughter . We spent time together with walks presents santa etc. we went for 3 days holidays the 3 of us and we we were all happy .
Time passes everything is better but i cannot forget .He is still free of gambling , But i think velvet that im very close to forgive , i think that the time helps me to forgive . I cannot forget all your help . I feel good and i have my self back . i still work hard nothing changed but i feel free in my heart and so so peace. I want you to know that im ok , i think i can deal with everything now , i think that i learned how to handle the situations . I wish you the best to you and your family … I miss you so much .
Thank you very much for all your help and understanding .
My best wishes to monique , berber ,jenny,janey,twilight,nomore,adele , i wish you the best to your families Happy new year .
with all my love
ell
and of course keep going ……..

[ell]

Hello james
Difficult paths….but you are so strong ..i admire your power.
Well James I think yes she tries to manipulate you ….
She is angry James because she can not handle the situation with you anymore. You stand up and now you are stronger and she is using all her weapons but not her real mind (the addiction speaks)..She tries to make you feel that you cannot manage your daughters protection and you will give up .. And why not beg at the end( don’t forget the addiction speaks) … And her mom is her mom James she will protect her daughter …

Keep going james , you have enough on your plate but one day at a time you will manage the situation .
Im from Greece and I work a lot and I have a girl 2.5 years old . I enrolled my daughter into a preschool but starts on September but we have private playgrounds (pay per hour)and private primary schools and I make the arrangement for 30 days only to keep my baby now the summer .Maybe you have there too .,…I cannot afford private school for all the months but just for one month I can . Maybe that helps you I don’t know..just a suggestion . Here in Greece we pay for month to a private school 300€ euros.
When I learn that my hb is a cg the only thing that I did it is just to protect my daughter like you. I said something cruel to myself … I said: “ well ell find all the solutions and pretend he is dead , protect your daughter like he is dead, and when he will be back again he will find his daughter with no pain inside her. I’m not say to do the same thing I just telling what I did.
As difficult it is of course and you can protect your daughter.
We all here are with you …
With all my love
Ell

[ell]

hi velvet

i was anxious , i get stressed ,for some minutes i was terrified and i asked him (skype)
if he see porn all the time now ?
he told me with all his love no and he is happy that i asked him because he doesnt want to hight my douts and my anxiety . (we dont have internet home only at work)
velvet i feel alittle sorry for asking him but with the berbers post i felt the “””if”””ii my mind so so strong ..
with love ell

[ell]

Hi b,
Im sorry for the relapse b ,
Berber if I was in your place I would have done the same thing. I don’t know if it is the right decision or not but I would have done exactly the same thing.
He stopped the medication? Is he taking the pills now? Or the relapse is tied with the no medications?
I don’t know b , I think (and I’m sorry for that) that something not goes well with the addiction of your hb . I think that he lost because he is tirted the meaning of the loyalty for his recovery and he must try to find it again . I think he is tired and confused .
Berber I realize in my relationship that when im lovely or have a tolerant behavior, my cg always seems to be complacency but when I m hard(not always) and tough and don’t go back he has always alertness . He told me that he doesn’t forget the meaning to be clean and lose his family.
It is time now b to focus on you and your children. You have your priorities and of course your limits.
My advice is please if you have to speak with your hb just speak for the necessary , nothing more . You need some days off . You need to find you and how you will react to a relapse . Give the time you need . And not have him there is very good. Relapse is something NEW now . try to find your power now..
i know that you feel angry and betrayed …but you know the addiction berber , you know well how it is try to find your power again and
Just think how happy you can be when your children hags you and smile at you !!!!!!!!!!!
You are in my thoughts
Love ell

[ell]

I can undesrand that is difficult when your cg is angry about everything but he tries to find his role..
Berber my first worry is you , I really im glad that you know that you can search and find the strength and the power to be calm. You know your role berber you are a mother with 2 children and that is your priority and your happiness.

I think that you hb doesn’t know his role. He doesn’t have a role .He is still searching He tries with the household and the kids but I think he needs something else ….
And when he see you he see a determine woman with a clear role . You choose to be a mother and you are doing it perfect. He sees that and he gets angry because his mind is not clear .
I don’t know if he works now berber ? Is he? Or he is all the time home with you and the kids and he Is going only to the meetings GA. 24 hours together it is a little difficult .
Someone stops nagging or be hard with the other when he has something else to think, something that give him a sense that he gives to his family too . He is the man he wants to be a step higher from you .I think that he is confused.
I know that you will handle the situation, you are very strong and I believe in you . And I hope now the summer to go somewhere and just relax. You deserve it
See you again soon
My lovely berber
Καλό καλοκαίρι
τι να πεις για τους άντρες, ?

[ell]

im at work as usually but i want to thank you so much for your replies ..
both of you you are so right ….

with all my love ell

[ell]

hello james
i need to tell you that from all your posts you are a strong man and mature . You can not unerstand it know but i feel it from all your story the strenght . Keep going james im so proud for you .My hb is a cg and the only thing i know is that our ff recovery needs time .Smile to your daughter and take power from her smile .with all my love ell

[ell]

hello my dear twilight
when i read something from you i keep say with big words that YOU ARE AN ISPIRATION. You are so so mature with the addiction . All my wishes too you and your lovely family

[ell]

Hello all my friends
Hello velvet ….
I missed you. I read the forums not every day but I know I was up sent from writing …well I know that other friends here are now in difficult paths with the addictions and need help from the site that is so ashamed for me to write when everything goes fine..
My update?
Well I suppose that if someone read that my cg is ok free, he is in his family totally , working, accountable , loving with me and his child, he is still going to the counselor someone will think that :
Ok el what else you want ??? Don’t be so hard …he is doing great and he is with you , he is trying so hard with me to manage all the wrongs things the addiction gave us.. (Debts-wrong behaviors)
Well velvet I’m happy for that, I really am …and I love him and I know that he loves me too …
Our last 3month period were running with my daughters health, she has problem with her thyroid and with cholesterol and triglycerides on high levels. She is so small but is hereditary. We are with good doctors and trying pills diets etc.
My work ….well I’m so so tired, I’m in the red. I’m here from 10:00 until 23:00 every day and weekend .nothing change with my work, I’m running and have no other option. But the good thing is that I can see a light from all that work, I can see that the crises here will end. Need patience.
As for me, I feel tired but I don’t ever give up I still try.
The problem is deep deep inside me
But deep inside me I cannot be totally free velvet . When I go to bed and only that time every night I keep wondering what if he gambles again what if he takes money without knowing? And from the other side I m thinking that I don’t want to know if he gambles or takes money I don’t want to know anything. That is why I’m not searching anything. I have all the bank accounts I’m giving him all the money he needs every day I see the receipts in the kitchen without asking for them. But I cannot calculate the receipts or see if he is say lies . I canot do it and I don’t want to do it . we decide together what we must pay or how we split the money . He just doesn’t have the pin for the accounts That is why I have all the if thoughts . Because now I’m not searching him . I don’t know if he will search something in the internet in his work I don’t know anything . We don’t talk about this .He doesn’t deserve when he is doing ok all the time speak for the addiction. Sometimes I look at him and ask him if we are still together in the same path and if he needs something to tell me but his answer is “ im not playing that is over and hope someday all the trauma will leave . Im here and trying my best . He is working so much and the money he brings are double from the 2 jobs and he feels so good because the debts are smaller now and he can dream what would you like to do after the debts finish ? an he is so optimistic … but he is so tired too. I can see it and he can see me how tired I am
Now for the summer we said 15 days to take a break and go to our village for relax . nothing special , a little home bat with sea for the kid . And we were tring to finish the days and august go away , And yesterday we found out that a work came and we must be here all the summer with no no break. and I know that I will look inside me and the find the power to move on . But I need break …3 years in the same program every day is difficult. Anyway I don’t want to be pessimistic
The only thing I want is to be inside me totally free and of course inside me I want to be fair with my cg .
I know that outside im totally fair with my behavior, but I want me secrets thoughts to be free from the addiction and not unfair for him . I can not manage my thaughts. I don’t know if velvet you can understand me maybe im not write so well . In my thoughts I ask myself :”well ell when you will give him the pin and his account ? never? He is not asking you for nothing when you will give him trust .?never? He needs to see that you trust now . I cannot answer the questions deep inside me .
I will write soon
My wish is all of us we try and struggle with the addiction to have power and strength to move on .
With all my love
Ell

[ell]

Γειά σου αγαπημένη μου φίλη
I can understand how full is your day now . your angels is your power and i can understand how happy you are. As for your cg i m so happy that he is free and try to find his road. He is here b you know it ,we want the baby steps b as far we have stability , we dont want large steps- only baby steps with safe.he is with you b you can feel it . as for the household : my dear that is MEN lolLLLL
Im so happy you are ok and happy .
I will write my upadate b but yes im ok and everything goes well . I just run with my dautgher health 2 months now she is now 2.5 years old . we found extra problems with her thyroid and with her cholesterol . She is a baby and her cholesterol is so so hight and that is a problem now, but there are solutions and im learning the problem (for babies) and the medicines , it is hereditary from her father. i will be ok but i want to finish all the check up with all the doctors and then i will calm .
BE happy berber
θα σε συναντήσω σύντομα
φιλάκια
ell

[ell]

hello velvet
I came yesterday to find you on the group but i did wrong the time and charle helped me. i m so confused with the hours i can not understand the times on support groups i dont know the name of your group and yesterday i read this post and i said “alliloua” that is a time that here in greece i can visit.because all the others groups were so late here and i have internet only at my work not in my home so i couldnt visit the group .yestreday i tried but i did wrong the hour. but if you are from now on on thursdays 18:00 (your time) that means 20:00 my time it is wonderful because i will find you
i will write my update ..everything goes well
i miss you v i miss you all

[ell]

Congratulations !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!my dear berber
It is wonderful news!!!!!!!Your children now b is your miracle !
So happy that your hb is in te right path . Give him things to do now and trust him the family . Enjoy your family b you deserve it . Congratulations!
with all my love ell

[ell]

Hello my dear madge
Thank you so much for your warm post on my thread.
Take big breaths and pack your suitcases my dear. Don’t ever ever allow anyone to ruin something that your children deserve to have. This journey is for your children joy.
Even if he is their father he cannot ruin it (he doesn’t has the right) and if he cannot understand it because he is selfish from the addiction, you protect your children from him, you just leaving him behind.
And if you cannot leave him just behind you, speak to him (you speak to the addiction now, remember!)With all your power that even if he will come if he will do something wrong to ruin your children joy or make them sad even a little you he will see another madge that he will not recognize. Give him an ultimatum if you feel inside you that you can do it.
Please my dear, I know how nice is to make a trip just like a family and spent nice time and your cg just be a nice father and spent time with his kids. He is not ready Madge. He cannot do it.
You should put your nice smile in your face, because if you smile your children will smile too and go your holidays and spent terrific time . Addiction has no place in the trip with your children.
I know that my words are a little hard but I think that san and jenny gave you terrific answers .
With all my love
Put your smile on you are going a trip with your beautiful children
ell

[Author]

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